<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>What You Deserve by Saltcoats_Selkie</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24334144">What You Deserve</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saltcoats_Selkie/pseuds/Saltcoats_Selkie'>Saltcoats_Selkie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jasmine McKellar x Merula Snyde [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Coming Out, Consensual Sex, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Language, F/F, Female Protagonist, Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Internalized Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes, POV Lesbian Character, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Purebloods (Harry Potter), Secret Crush, Slytherin, Slytherin Pride</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:35:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>35,449</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24334144</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saltcoats_Selkie/pseuds/Saltcoats_Selkie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Life goes on at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as Jasmine and Merula grow accustomed to their new dynamic. Being the school’s only out gay couple comes with its fair share of hardship though, and the pair of young witches must do their best to overcome the myriad challenges if they hope to make it through first term with their relationship intact.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merula Snyde/Original Female Character(s), Player Character &amp; Merula Snyde, Player Character/Merula Snyde</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jasmine McKellar x Merula Snyde [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739608</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>101</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I'm trying</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warning: This first chapter gets dark. Jasmine and Merula both share some things from their past and spend a significant portion of the conversation discussing self-harm. If that’s not your cup of tea, you’re welcome to skip over the last scene. Hopefully the first few are still satisfying. Quidditch season is here and it’s time to meet some familiar faces on the Slytherin team. Also I finally got to play the Valentine’s Day side quest while I was writing this and something about Penny Haywood must have stuck. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jasmine McKellar pulled the straps on her arm guards tighter and grabbed her broom. A lot had changed in the past couple of weeks, but one thing in her life had thankfully remained constant. Quidditch.</p><p> </p><p>Practice had resumed about a week ago for last year’s team members, mostly it had just been a couple of training drills coordinated by their captain, Skye Parkin, so far. Today however, they had finally managed to arrange their official tryout session, which meant that from tonight, they would know their lineup for the upcoming season, and next week, their training could begin in earnest.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine walked out onto the pitch, where a crowd of hopefuls were already gathered. She strode to Skye’s side and folded her arms in front of her chest, surveying the crowd.</p><p> </p><p>Technically, any position was up for grabs today, save for Skye’s. But Jasmine’s close friendship with the captain, combined with her so far unmatched skill with a beater’s bat, had pretty safely guaranteed her her usual position. There were none standing in the crowd looking to take on the challenge of dethroning her.</p><p> </p><p>She took a moment to glance up toward the stands. She spotted Penny and Beatrice Haywood easily enough. Penny had obviously passed her love of quidditch on to her little sister, or else was dragging her along to every team’s tryouts in an attempt to ignite that fiery passion. Penny had been pretty good about Jasmine being gay so far. But she didn't seem to be a big fan of Merula and so the two had unfortunately not been on speaking terms since Jasmine and Merula had started dating. </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine still offered a small wave to the Huffelpuff siblings before searching the rest of the sparse audience that had come to watch the tryouts, and it wasn’t long before her hazel eyes found their true prize. Merula Snyde was sitting alone, a few rows back from Penny and Beatrice, hunched forward in her seat with her arms crossed against the chill in the morning air. Merula looked down at her and offered a small wave of her own.</p><p> </p><p>She had come.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine let herself smile as she felt her insides warm with joy at her lover’s presence. She blew Merula a discreet kiss then turned back to face the assembled crowd, adopting an intimidating glare. She was staring to pick up on the looks of disdain in some of the faces of the Slytherins she knew less well. Even here it seemed she could not escape the judgement of her pureblood peers.</p><p> </p><p>So far, no one had gone so far as Ismelda Murk, to suggest that being gay made her any less of a real witch… That she or her parents were secretly<em> muggle-born </em>. Still, homosexuality was nonetheless frowned upon in pureblood culture. A society entirely based around the goal of continuing ancient and proud wizarding bloodlines was hardly going to be a fan of any corrupted branch in their family trees, especially those that offered no hope of a subsequent generation.</p><p> </p><p>Even some of her half-blood friends looked at her differently these days. She scowled at the leering face of a young boy in the crowd. He barely flinched as he held her stare.</p><p> </p><p>Thankfully, Skye picked that moment to address the assembled crowd.</p><p> </p><p>“Right you lot, mount up!” Skye shouted, grabbing the attention of her former teammates and the current hopefuls alike. </p><p> </p><p>“Today’s a belter of a day, and I didn’t come down here to stand on the ground! Everybody up to centre pitch, now!”</p><p> </p><p>Skye had mounted her broom and was in the air before most of the others could blink. Jasmine flew up behind her and directed the others to assemble themselves in an orderly formation. Skye then passed from person to person, taking their name and their desired position before flying out to the front of the group and explaining how the tryouts would be conducted.</p><p> </p><p>After determining who would be trying out for each position, Skye ran each of the candidates through a series of drills, then split the group up into two teams, with her captaining one side and Jasmine the other. Skye took their old keeper, Vincent Fawley, as well as their other returning beater, Ran Sun-Hee. She also took on Terrance Higgs in his new role as seeker, and a few of the other hopefuls to round out her team. That left Jasmine with Anastasia Rowle, their retiring seeker who had agreed to play one last match for them before relinquishing herself to a year of exam preparation, as well as their previous year’s reserve keeper, Alastair Ross. She also had their old reserve chaser, Ollie Travers, and a couple of fresh faces, including the leering young boy who introduced himself to her as Marcus Flint.</p><p> </p><p>Due to the lack of players interested in trying out for a beater position, the match proved a slightly more dangerous one than usual, with each side down one and Skye insistent that they still release two bludgers. Jasmine was kept on her toes working extra hard to protect her teammates while also captaining her side. Despite the added difficulty, Jasmine’s team performed admirably. The second year, Flint, even managed to almost hold his own against the formidable Skye Parkin. </p><p> </p><p>Eventually the match came to a close when Rowle predictably caught the snitch, leaving a slightly bitter taste in the mouths of her former teammates. Jasmine clapped her on the back and shook her hand all the same. If this was the last match she’d ever play, at least she could say she’d kept her streak to the end. It also left Jasmine’s team up by 40 points, and she secretly relished being able to hold the small victory over her friend’s head. </p><p> </p><p>“Aw, come now,” she grabbed Skye by the waist. “It was close enough.” </p><p> </p><p>Skye just pouted at her until the two burst out laughing.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine subtly pointed out Flint to her captain. “That one’s one tae keep yer eyes on for sure, even if he is a bit of a munter.”</p><p> </p><p>“For definite. His mate Travers, too. I think we’ve found our chasers, McKellar!”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine smiled at Skye and held her close, then she remembered Merula was probably still up in the stands.</p><p> </p><p>Offering a brief explanation, she kicked off the ground and rode her broom up to meet Merula, not far from where they’d shared their first kiss. Merula had her face buried in one of the fantasy books from the shelf in the room they’d been sharing for the past couple of weeks.</p><p> </p><p>As Jasmine pulled up Merula snapped the book closed and looked up at her.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey loser.”</p><p> </p><p>“We won… Were you even watching?”</p><p> </p><p>“I saw… most of it. I have to admit it <em> was </em> kind of sexy watching you swing that bat around.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula rubbed the back of her neck and Jasmine chuckled awkwardly, her face flushed.</p><p> </p><p>“Well… okay, cool. Um, you’re welcome to come along and watch any time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Er… thanks. Okay, yeah maybe.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine landed her broom and jumped off, sitting down on the bench beside her standoffish lover.</p><p> </p><p>“I wish I could come and watch <em> your </em>rehearsals sometime!” </p><p> </p><p>“McKellar, I would literally die. It’s been hard enough singing in front of you when I know all of my notes. Please don’t ever show up and watch me at practice.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine cocked her head. Merula’s vulnerabilities still caught her off guard sometimes.</p><p> </p><p>“You know I can hear you practicing in the bath though, right?” She goaded. </p><p> </p><p>Merula went white and Jasmine had to give it everything she had not to burst out laughing.</p><p> </p><p>“You what? Jasmine… hey!”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Jasmine sniggered.</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, don’t laugh at me!”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, you’re just so cute when you get shy.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine reached up to Merula’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck off,” Merula said with a huff, slapping at Jasmine’s wrist.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine dropped her hand. “I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever. Maybe I should ask Flitwick if he can bring forward our lesson on the Muffliato Charm this term,” Merula half joked.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe you should,” Jasmine reached out and almost took Merula’s hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Your voice <em> is </em>really pretty though,” she said, and Merula blushed and turned her attention back down to the emptying pitch.</p><p> </p><p>“Looks like your friends are leaving.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine tore her eyes from her lover’s flushed cheeks to check on her teammates. Just as Merula had said, they were starting to file out toward the tent that held the team change rooms.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, yeah, I should probably…”</p><p> </p><p>“Leave me alone?”</p><p> </p><p>“Get back to them…” Jasmine murmured. “I’ll see you at Lunch?”</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula reached up and grabbed the front of Jasmine’s jersey before planting a kiss firmly on her lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Go on then,” she chuckled.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>After stowing away her quidditch gear and washing off the sweat of the morning, Jasmine emerged from the change room to find Merula long gone. Penny and Beatrice however were leaning against the stadium wall, waiting for her.</p><p> </p><p>At least, Penny seemed to be waiting for. As soon as Skye walked out behind her, Penny’s younger sister rushed past Jasmine to introduce herself.</p><p> </p><p>Penny watched as her sister started up the path to the castle, excitedly rambling about all of the times she’d been to see Skye’s father play. That answered the question of her enthusiasm for quidditch at least.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine waited until Penny’s eyes drifted back to her before finally approaching her.</p><p> </p><p>“Nice flying, Jasmine. How was it playing captain?”</p><p> </p><p>They were the first words Penny had spoken to her directly since she came out. And of course they would be concerning quidditch. It <em> had </em>been the basis of their friendship after all. Safe ground.</p><p> </p><p>“It was good, yeah, but I’m not sure it’s for me…”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s rubbish, Jas. You were great up there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine didn’t really understand what this was about, and it was almost lunchtime. Still, she felt a pang of regret at being so short with her old friend.</p><p> </p><p>“Jasmine…”</p><p> </p><p>Penny sounded smaller than usual. Jasmine hoped it wasn’t her doing.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry Pen. Yeah. It was stressful I guess, without another beater. Hard to stay on top of everything. But thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay Jasmine, I actually…” She sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it, Penny?”</p><p> </p><p>Penny let out a long breath and looked off over Jasmine’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“I know I haven’t been the best friend to you these past few weeks…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d argue you weren’t really being a friend at all…”</p><p> </p><p>“Ouch,” Penny looked cross for a moment. “But fair. I’ll admit, it was a bit of a punch in the gut to find out you were crushing on Merula.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah to you and just about everyone else in the school apparently. Is it really that big a surprise that I like girls?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not that…”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh so it’s her? What because her parents were Death Eaters? Because she bullied some mu… muggle-born back in first year? Not everyone’s lives have been as easy as yours, Pen.”   </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine cringed as the words left her mouth, but it was too late.</p><p> </p><p>“Sometimes things aren’t as easy as they seem,” was all Penny offered, her eyes on the grass at her feet.</p><p> </p><p>That sounded pretty weak coming from the most popular girl in school, but Jasmine bit her tongue. The conversation was already going badly, and Penny had gone out of her way to break the silence of the last few weeks. She deserved better than what Jasmine was giving her.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry. It’s just hard, hearing everyone constantly talking shite about someone I care about.”</p><p> </p><p>Penny stood there quietly for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“I just thought… maybe it could have been me,” she eventually offered up, her voice was so soft Jasmine could barely hear her.</p><p> </p><p>She cocked her head. Was Penny… Did Penny Haywood have a crush on her?</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“How did you know, Jasmine? That you were… that you fancied girls? How did you know?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh…” </p><p> </p><p>She looked up to meet Penny’s crystal blue eyes. She was watching Jasmine expectantly, almost longingly.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean… I didn’t… not really. Not until the ball last year, not until I danced with Merula.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh…” </p><p> </p><p>“I mean, it’s not like I knew any different beforehand… I’d just never really considered… anyone, like that. Sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“No it’s… it’s fine. I’d just hoped… like, for so long. And then suddenly you were… but it was with her. Maybe I should have asked you sooner.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe…”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine didn’t know what else to say. Penny was a lovely girl, she’d always thought that. And beautiful, absolutely. But she definitely wasn’t Jasmine’s type.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Pen.” </p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s okay. It’s stupid, really. It’s not even like you were my first choice actually. You just seemed an easier option I guess. Sorry, that sounds really awful doesn’t it?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine scrunched her face.</p><p> </p><p>“It kind of does, yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry. It’s still real… The way I feel about you. I still really wanted you, once I’d decided.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s… I don’t…”</p><p> </p><p>Finding out she had been Penny’s secret crush had been a shock, but finding out she was Penny’s ‘second choice’ crush just plain hurt.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m a lesbian.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, you’ve made that pretty clear.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know. Sorry, I was trying to start over.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not really how conversations work, Penny.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry… I just… I didn’t want you to think it was because I hate you. The whole not talking thing.” </p><p> </p><p>“You just hate Merula… for getting to me first?”</p><p> </p><p>Penny put her hands to her head.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t <em> hate </em> either of you, Jasmine. I just… I have a lot of feelings I’m trying to process at the moment.” She moved her arms wildly, as if to mimic the chaos in her heart and head. </p><p> </p><p>“Right, okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry. I thought you deserved the truth at least.”</p><p> </p><p>“I need to go, Pen. Sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine turned and started to walk away, but she stopped herself.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, Penny. For trusting me. It’s really brave of you to tell me all that, even if it isn’t going to work out the way you’d hoped.” </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“So what do you think?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine blinked. </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, what?”</p><p> </p><p>Skye was sitting across the table from her, pointing the chunk of carrot impaled on her fork square at Jasmine. She rolled her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Fawley on keeper, Flint and Travers with me, you and Sun-Hee are still our beaters, and Higgs finally gets a shot at seeker.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine nodded slowly. Everything had passed in such a haze since Penny had come out to her. But Skye’s proposed line-up seemed solid. As far as she could see it they didn’t have a lot of options otherwise.</p><p> </p><p>“Makes sense,” she shrugged. </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine took another bite out of her pie. Out of the corner of her eye she watched Merula as she drew spirals with her knife into the tiny helping of mashed potato and gravy on her plate.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Mer… do you want to go for a walk after?”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re supposed to meet Professor Rakepick this afternoon. Curse-breaker training, remember?” Merula rolled her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah I know. It won’t take long, I promise.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Jasmine led Merula down through the grounds. She needed some fresh air, and some space to think. She was also desperate to get Merula alone. Despite sharing a room, the two of them spent a surprisingly small amount of time alone together, and Jasmine could feel that distance creeping back into their dynamic.</p><p> </p><p>“So… Penny’s gay.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Merula’s eyes bulged.</p><p> </p><p>“Penny Haywood. She told me after quidditch this morning.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why would she tell <em> you </em>?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because we’re friends, Merula. And I’m gay too. And also… she kinda has a crush on me, apparently.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula crossed her arms and rushed forward to cut Jasmine off.</p><p> </p><p>“She what?”</p><p> </p><p>“She… has a crush on me. She confessed it to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Her too? Well that’s great. How many of your friends want to sleep with you exactly, Jasmine?” she asked frustratedly.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine blushed sheepishly.</p><p> </p><p>“And how do you feel about her then?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, what?”</p><p> </p><p>“Haywood. Do you like her back?”</p><p> </p><p>“Why would I? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula didn’t look happy.</p><p> </p><p>“Well let’s see,” she started listing things off on her fingers. “She’s funny. She’s pretty. You’ve been friends for <em> ages </em> . <em> And </em> she’s actually <em> nice </em>to you.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine threw her arms out to the side.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“You know what it means, Jasmine. I’m awful to you. I’ve been treating you like shit all week. I know I have… I’m trying to change Jas, but it’s hard. It makes sense if you’re tired of waiting for me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mer… I’m not waiting for anything. I don’t care whether or not you’re nice to me. You’ve treated me like shite most days ever since we first met. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula narrowed her eyes and cocked her head. </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, I mean, you can be really mean sometimes… but I still think you’re beautiful, and you’re hilarious, and whip smart. And I <em> can </em> see you trying to be better. I know that it’s hard for you to see it Merula, but you’re amazing. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m the best witch at Hogwarts,” Merula mumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> You’re the best witch at Hogwarts! </em> Exactly! Why would I ever want anyone else but you?”</p><p> </p><p>“You really mean it?”</p><p> </p><p>“I do. Besides, Penny can be a bitch sometimes too, everyone can. You’re just better at that too,” Jasmine smirked.</p><p> </p><p>Merula let her arms drop to her side and Jasmine reached out to take her hand again. This time they made contact, and Jasmine pulled Merula in close beside her before setting off down the path to the Black Lake.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As they reached a small wooded area by the lake shore Jasmine paused to stare out across the still water and let Merula’s fingers slip from her grasp. Merula bumped against her and Jasmine wrapped an arm around Merula’s waist. Her hand settled on the sharp point of Merula’s hip bone and she pulled the girl tight against her body.</p><p> </p><p>“So why do you think she told you now?” Merula brought the conversation back to the Hufflepuff’s crush. </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine had to stop for a moment to bring her mind into focus.</p><p> </p><p>“I think seeing us together brought up a lot for her. She just needed to tell somebody, right? I mean, neither of us really ‘came out’, I think it’s easier just to let someone know you like them. You don’t have to use the words.”</p><p> </p><p>“You think that’s the only reason?”</p><p> </p><p>“I mean, she already knows I like girls. Maybe I’m just a safer target for her affection?”</p><p> </p><p>“How do you mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, she basically said it straight to my face. I was never her first choice. I’m the ‘easy’ option.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ow!”</p><p> </p><p>“I know. Still, I feel kinda bad for her. I hope she can find someone else to talk to properly about everything.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure she will, you’re hardly her only friend.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just as long as she isn’t hanging on, waiting for you and I to break up.”</p><p> </p><p>What was that? Jasmine turned Merula around so that they could face each other.</p><p> </p><p>“Break up?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah…”</p><p> </p><p>“Like… we’re together?”</p><p> </p><p>“Aren’t we?” Merula started to look panicked. “We slept together Jasmine, what does that mean to you?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know… I didn’t want to assume anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin’s beard, how can you be so thick?” Merula stepped back with a look of disbelief plastered across her face.</p><p> </p><p>“You actually want to be my… my <em> girlfriend </em>?”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em> am </em>your girlfriend!” Merula shouted. “I told you I wanted to be with you didn’t I? You said you wanted to be with me too, right? It seems pretty clear cut to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know. Maybe it does. This is new to me too though Mer, I guess I just wasn’t sure how seriously I was supposed to take it.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula stepped forward, closing the distance that had grown between them.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me spell it out for you then. I want to be with you, Jasmine McKellar. And I want you to be with me. Only with me. Get it?”</p><p> </p><p>Merula grabbed Jasmine and locked eyes with her. Jasmine’s stomach fluttered. </p><p> </p><p>She was right, it had been obvious, but a small part of Jasmine’s mind hadn’t wanted to take it for granted, especially as Merula had fallen back into her old standoff-ish ways. Still, Merula’s tight grip on her forearms was nothing compared to the grip the witch had on her heart. </p><p> </p><p>“Will. You. Be. My. Girlfriend?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine nodded enthusiastically. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good,” Merula snapped. “There. Now we’re ‘official’. Does that clear things up for you?”  </p><p> </p><p>“Yep… loads clearer now. Thank you,” Jasmine smiled a sheepish grin.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re welcome.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula reached up and took Jasmine’s face in her hand. She ran her thumb across Jasmine’s bottom lip and chewed at her own and Jasmine felt her pulse quicken. Merula pulled her down at the same time as she arched herself up, abolishing what little space was left between them as she locked her lips around Jasmine’s. </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine’s core flooded with warmth. Merula’s teeth tugged at her lower lip as she pulled her arms down toward her hips. Jasmine gripped her tightly, pressing their bodies together as she let her mouth fall open and accept Merula’s insistent tongue. She tasted butterscotch and cinnamon and felt dizzy as she drew hot air up through her nose and Merula’s breath mingled with her own.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly the sound of raindrops on dry leaves was all around them, and soon the downpour had made its way through the canopy to assault their heads and shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>“Over here, quick!”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine dragged Merula out of the centre of the clearing underneath the heavier foliage near the trunk of a large oak tree. </p><p> </p><p>“Brilliant,” Merula huffed.</p><p> </p><p>The pair settled down between the roots of the old tree to wait out the rain. It was a bit of a squeeze and the two girls were practically overlapping when they finally got comfortable. The rich smell of damp earth and decaying autumn leaves was almost suffocating, but the sweet notes of the fresh rain were enough to turn the overall scent to a pleasant one. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t like Penny, Mer. I promise. I don’t like anyone except for you. Nothing anyone says is ever going to change that.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula grabbed Jasmine’s hand and held it in her lap, lacing her fingers through from behind to leave Jasmine’s palm exposed. The delicate tickling as Merula traced the broken lines on her hands made Jasmine shiver and Merula edged closer to her still, mistaking her motions to be caused by the chill. Even though it wasn’t true, the heat of Merula’s body pressed against her, even through their clothes, was a welcome sensation.</p><p> </p><p>“What do they mean?” Jasmine whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“No idea,” Merula scoffed.</p><p> </p><p>Neither of the girls had taken on Divination for more than a year before dropping out of the elective subject, and Merula hald little interest in actual Palmistry. Jasmine didn’t care. Her fingertips still felt divine as they traced shapes across her skin.</p><p> </p><p>Merula slid a finger up Jasmine's wrist and soon she was following the criss-crossed patterns of old scars.</p><p> </p><p>“These ones… I’m a little more familiar with.”</p><p> </p><p>A lump caught in Jasmine’s throat.</p><p> </p><p>“So… what do these mean?” Her voice quivered, barely there at all.</p><p> </p><p>Merula thought for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Well… you said you felt hopeless right? I’d say… you probably needed a way to control the way you felt when your brother disappeared. Maybe things got too overwhelming for you to cope with and you needed a distraction?</p><p> </p><p>“When I was eight?”</p><p> </p><p>“So… Not that?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re close.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula wrapped her free hand over Jasmine’s wrist.</p><p> </p><p>“What then?”</p><p> </p><p>“I did hurt myself back then, you’re right. It hurt so much when he was gone, it felt good to feel a different kind of pain sometimes. But I wasn’t cutting, not then.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula tightened her fingers around Jasmine’s and settled her head on her shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p> </p><p>“The day Jacob disappeared, I lost the only person in the world who I could really talk to. I hadn’t met my neighbour yet, my parents didn’t want us getting too close to the muggle families back then.”</p><p> </p><p>“Understandable,” Merula immediately scrunched her face at her own prejudice.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe,” Jasmine offered. “I think they decided to relax the rules a little after they saw how lonely I was without Jake there.” </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine slowed her breathing, steadying her voice before pressing on.</p><p> </p><p>“Life felt so dark. So empty. My mother felt it too, but, father… When Jacob came back from Hogwarts after getting expelled, father kicked him out that same night. He wouldn’t believe a word about the Cursed Vaults, he said that Jacob was a liar and a blood-traitor who’d let his mudblood friends get into his head.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine shuddered.</p><p> </p><p>“When we found out that he had disappeared then, father only said that he’d gotten what was coming to him. He wouldn’t even let us mourn him properly.” </p><p> </p><p>“So you bottled everything up? Did your best to forget about it?”</p><p> </p><p>“More or less. Until…”</p><p> </p><p>“Until you got your letter, and came here… And then everyone was talking about him, and it brought all of those old feelings up to the surface again…” </p><p> </p><p>Merula stopped.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess I was a part of all that, hey?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine made a face.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m really sorry, Jas.”</p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t matter. When I found out that the Cursed Vaults were real, that my brother had been telling the truth the whole time… Everything was so confusing. Then I started to get these visions, hear voices. It got so hard to know what was real anymore. I started having these nightmares, like, nearly every night. I tried my best to hide it for so long. But walking through the castle every day… I just felt so numb. Everything I’d been told for the past four years had been a lie. Eventually I was just so sick of not feeling anything. I remembered how focusing the pain had been the first time. I knew that if I could feel it again, feel it sharp enough… It became like this one real thing that I could cling to, you know?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine could feel the tears running down her face as she recalled the pain of her first two years at the school. Merula ran her hand up and down Jasmine’s arm and rubbed her cheek against her shoulder. Jasmine stared out at the rain falling into the deep black lake water, the clouds draped across the tops of the evergreens in the dark forest across from them.</p><p> </p><p>“What made you stop?” Merula finally asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Honestly? It was Rowan. He never gave up on me. I don’t know if he knew what I was doing. I think he suspected. But he could definitely see things were wearing me down. But he spent his whole summer after first year researching the vaults. He helped me find out the truth about them, and showed me that there was still hope to save Jacob. Then he and Penny convinced me to join the quidditch team to help take my mind off of things until we could solve the mystery. Suddenly there was more to life than just stone walls and cursed ice. Things seemed possible again, at least, for the most part.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine sighed. Merula shifted around so that she could bring her hand up to Jasmine’s face, wiping the tears from her cheeks. </p><p> </p><p>“What about you?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine ran a finger along Merula’s thigh through her jeans and felt her stiffen against the touch.</p><p> </p><p>Slowly she started to speak.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess… It started when my parents were taken away. I’d just turned ten. I had to pack everything away, I got dragged off to go and live with my Aunt. No one would talk to me about my mum and dad. I couldn’t understand why it was happening. The Dark Lord was dead. The war was over. It didn’t make sense that the Ministry would still keep fighting. But then they sent them both to Azkaban. My Aunt sealed the gate to our old house, locked all of our things away inside, she wouldn't even mention mummy’s name anymore!” </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine squeezed Merula’s thigh gently and gave her a moment to collect her thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>“Why, though? I don’t understand how she could be so cruel to you.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula took a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>“My Aunt never got involved in the war. Not publicly. Of course she believed in what the Dark Lord was doing… But after they took my mum, her sister, and locked her away with my dad… I think it scared her. She got so convinced that the Ministry would start coming for the rest of us, rounding us up. She said we had to forget everything about them, everything the Dark Lord had taught us, we had to act like none of it mattered to us.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s horrible.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well, I think it was easy for her. I don’t even know if she <em> has </em> a heart. But mine was breaking. I couldn’t forget them. I tried, again and again. At first she used to beat me, whenever I would slip up. Then I started to do it myself, just to keep her hands off me. I forced myself to act like she’d won. And I’d punish myself when I couldn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine recalled the way Merula had slammed her fist into her thigh when their first date had started going south. She took Merula’s hands into her own, tenderly.  </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry you felt like you needed to do that.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not <em> your </em>fault,” Merula frowned. “Things got harder once school started. Like you said, people talk. Everyone already knew about what the Ministry had done to my parents, it was impossible to hide it, but I still felt guilty every time I spoke about them. Things started to get better though, slowly. The less time I spent with my Aunt, the easier it got to control.”</p><p> </p><p>“But then?” </p><p> </p><p>“Then everything happened with Tulip. She forced herself on me, and there was no way that that was what I wanted. But a small part of me got fixated on the way her lips felt on mine. I realised I wanted more. Not with her. But I wanted more. It felt so disgusting and wrong. It was overwhelming. Nothing would make it stop. I felt like I was being torn apart. And I needed my body to look the way it felt. It made those thoughts stop spiraling, at least while I was doing it. It feels like such a relief afterwards, but the thoughts always come back; that I’m ugly and gross and… unnatural.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merula… you’re none of those things,” Jasmine said, softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you. Having you around has helped a lot, things don’t have a chance to snowball in my head so much.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve stopped now too…?”</p><p> </p><p>“Mostly. I think so. I’m… I’m still working on my appetite.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine just nodded and held Merula’s hands.</p><p> </p><p>The bark at their back was growing damp and Merula shivered. The rain was starting to ease up though, and soon enough they would be able to make their way back up to the castle.</p><p> </p><p>For now, they had each other.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. My only friend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is probably the darkest chapter, and is where the graphic violence warning comes into play. I promise this is the worst of it though, and there is some fluff coming soon to make up for it all. Thank you all for sticking with me on this. I hope I’m managing to do the story justice.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It had been nearly a month since Jasmine McKellar had first woken up in the arms of Merula Snyde and life for the pair of them was slowly starting to return to some kind of normal. They still got the occasional jeer in the corridors, or a few slurs tossed at them over dinner or breakfast at the Slytherin table. But the majority of the school had stopped turning away to whisper the latest gossip about them to their friends whenever they walked by, and that certainly felt like a burden lifted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine stood staring out of the window of her temporary accommodation on the seventh floor of the Hogwarts Turris Magnus. It had rained all night and this morning the Black Lake was shrouded in fog. She was starting to appreciate her new view out over the castle grounds, from up here, the school looked so different. No wonder the Gryffindors were always so annoyingly confident, she thought to herself. Looking down from such great heights, almost anything seemed possible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She walked to the side of the bed on the left where Merula was curled up asleep and gave the girl a gentle tap on the shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula groaned, but a second tap was enough to rouse her from her slumber. She blinked and focused her attention through the large bay window at the fog covered mountains, only just catching the first rays of sunlight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What time is it?” She complained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nearly half-six. Come on, we were almost late for breakfast yesterday, I’m not letting that happen again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Since when were you such a goodie-two shoes, McKellar?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Since I’m your Prefect, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Snyde</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And since if we don’t keep up our end of the agreement, McGonagall might come to her senses and decide we don’t need to share a private room anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, alright. Look, I’m coming… but start the fire would you? I feel like I’m back in first year, trapped in some cursed ice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that cold,” Jasmine scoffed, but she moved to the wood burner in the corner and lit a small fire with a flick of her wand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine fed her pet tarantula while she waited for Merula to dress herself, passing a few crickets on to Merula’s toad too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Merula called from somewhere behind her. “Hey, what’s on today again?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Transfiguration, Herbology, Charms. And you’ve got Frog Choir tonight, don’t forget.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why would I forget?” Merula shot back snarkily as she packed her bag.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine rolled her eyes before turning to Merula.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t. But you did ask.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, let’s go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine picked up her things and headed for the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m on Prefect duty tonight too, so I might not be here when you get back,” she said as she reached Merula’s side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula hesitated, her hand on the doorknob.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh… yeah okay. Cool.”</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a quiet breakfast with Rowan and Liz, It was time for the Slytherins to head to their first class of the day. Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall. Although not a favourite subject for any of them, it was hardly their worst. McGonagall even smiled at Jasmine and Merula ever so slightly as they pushed their way through the door at the front of the pack. Jasmine couldn’t help but feel a little hit of pride at their being so punctual.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The morning class was enjoyable, for the most part.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine and Merula left Rowan and Liz and took up their usual spots at a desk in the back of the room, doing their best to keep as many rows between them and Tulip Karasu as possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tulip still glowered at the couple enviously at any opportunity she was given. Jasmine missed seeing the young witch’s wicked grin across the table from her during their study periods in the library, but for as long as she was acting this way at least, Jasmine was happy to cut her out of as much of her life as she could manage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At least the other Ravenclaws had refused to humour Tulip’s petty sulking. Andre Egwu even offered them the faintest of smiles from time to time, a silent encouragement for being the only witches at the school brave enough to be ‘out’. Not that </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> of the wizards were. Not officially.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine forced herself to stop taking stock of the class long enough to jot down some notes from McGonagall’s lecture on transfiguring ferrets to feather dusters. It was much harder to concentrate once the lecture was over and the class rose from their seats sleepily to collect their ferrets from the cages lining the sides of the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula practically skipped back to the desk with a ferret for each of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t they just adorable?” She beamed at Jasmine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Jasmine quipped as she reached out for one of the living slinkies wrapped tightly in Merula’s arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Merula pressed her lips together, but the smile didn’t leave her violet eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their next lesson was Charms, where Professor Flitwick had prepared a lecture on the Cheering Charm, used to produce a feeling of joy in the target.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Slytherins shared Charms class with Gryffindor, which meant sitting across the room from Charlie Weasley and Ben Copper. The former associates of Jasmine’s circle of friends had been some of her most vocal objectors outside of her own house. While their disagreement with her newfound relationship was due to their dislike of Merula, as a person, and not the fact that she was gay, Jasmine felt the prejudice just as difficult to sympathise with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of all the Gryffindors in their class, only Jae Kim had spoken to her since she came out last month, and while a lot of that had to do with Chiara’s influence over him, Jasmine still appreciated his supportive commentary during their nights serving detention together in the Hogwarts kitchens.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine offered Jae a small wave as she took her seat between Rowan and Merula.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time they’d eaten lunch and made their way out to the Herbology Greenhouses, the effects of their successfully cast cheering charms had just about worn off. While this seemed to do nothing to abate Liz’s chipper disposition, Rowan was returning to his usual stoic self and Merula had resumed her routine of periodically glaring at random passing students. Jasmine herself could sense her own cold self-loathing creeping back at the edge of her psyche, and she felt herself laughing less frequently at Liz’s occasional outlandish remarks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine shuffled through the crowd of students gathered in Greenhouse Four to find her friend Chiara Lobosca. Unfortunately the path she chose took her right past Ismelda Murk and Barnaby Lee, and she was forced to endure the whispered insults of her most outspoken tormentor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just shut it, Murk,” she heard Merula snarl behind her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She reached Chiara’s side with a short-lived sense of relief. Across the table she saw Tonks and Penny quickly re-packing their bags and shifting seats. The new rift in their friendship still stung for Jasmine, but she knew that the half-blood witches had never been happy to see her spending time with Merula, even before they were dating.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine thought back to the Celestial Ball. She’d been so confident at first that Rowan would ask her to be his date, she’d been completely blindsided when he had told her he was going with Ben Copper. She didn’t even remember them being that good friends. But then suddenly, Merula was there. And who better a dance partner than your arch-rival, right? Jasmine could still remember the looks of bewilderment on her classmate’s faces as the two of them had stepped through the doors to the great hall together. None more scathing than those from Penny and Tonks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now Penny couldn’t even look at her, and Tonks’ close friendship with the equally lovesick Tulip meant that the two Hufflepuffs now, unfortunately, had to be counted among the growing list of Jasmine’s ex-friends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t mind those two,” Chiara said softly as Rowan and Merula filled the newly vacated spots opposite them. She tucked an errant silver hair behind her ear, the rest pulled back into a short ponytail, revealing the shaved sides of her head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tonks can never hold a grudge for too long… and you know Penny isn’t really </span>
  <em>
    <span>mad</span>
  </em>
  <span> at you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… we’ll see,” Jasmine shrugged, emptying her bag onto the table in front of her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ember, her pet tarantula scurried out across the desk and up into the leaves of the potted plants in front of them, searching out small insects to supplement her morning meal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiara gingerly placed her hand on Jasmine’s forearm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jasmine… I know what it’s like to be hated for what you are. I know I’ve been a bit… distracted, recently, with Jae and everything. But I’m here for you, if you ever need to talk about anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Chi,” Jasmine smiled weakly.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then Professor Sprout cleared her throat at the head of the row of tables, and the class was underway.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Late that night, long after the day’s classes had ended, after quidditch practice, detention and dinner, and after a brief study session with Chiara and Jae on the correct cultivation of belladonna, Jasmine found herself slowly stalking through the cloisters of the Clocktower Courtyard, making her rounds as Prefect. She wished she could slip over to the Great Hall and meet Merula, as she was probably just leaving her rehearsal. But her mission tonight was to catch sneaking students, not become one herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t mind being a Prefect though. Actually, it was kind of a relief to be on the right side of the school’s authority for a change. Between her Prefect badge and her role as curse-breaker apprentice to the school’s Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, she had inherited a great deal of power as she stepped into her fifth year at the school.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Breaking school rules had always been an unfortunate necessity for Jasmine, rather than the exciting opportunity it was for students like Tulip and Tonks. She had never relished that aspect of the hunt for her lost brother, and she hoped that whatever the Cursed Vaults had in store for her this year, it could be tackled legitimately, as a member of Professor Rakepick’s team, and wouldn’t involve too much skulking in the shadows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still, the corridor by the Great Hall would be well-lit and dry, whereas the cloisters were dark, windswept and damp from near constant rain that had buffeted the school for the past week.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, a slender figure emerged from the shadows on the far side of the courtyard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oy! McKellar!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Roused from her thoughts, Jasmine started out toward the pale faced student standing out by the fountain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here Murk, get lost.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t stand by and watch you do this anymore, McKellar. It has to stop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine felt her ears burn as her hands clenched. Ismelda Murk had maybe been the only one in the school who had grown </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span> resentful of the pair in the month since Merula and Jasmine had started seeing each other. This had been a long time coming, Jasmine thought, and she was furious with herself for not expecting it tonight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just leave us alone Murk, I mean it,” she growled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I will, McKellar. Ready your wand. We’re settling this, now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine shook her head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to fight you. Just go!” She yelled, but her hand went for her wand instinctively, knowing that Ismelda would not take no for an answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ismelda immediately sent a hex her way as Jasmine flicked up her wand, deflecting it just in time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ismelda screamed in frustration. Soon the courtyard was filled with flashes of red, yellow and orange light as she pummeled Jasmine’s shield charms with the various spells in her arsenal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s your problem, Murk?” Jasmine yelled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>stole </span>
  </em>
  <span>my only friend! You took her away from me and now you’ve turned her into a little freak just like you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about Barnaby?” Jasmine tried to ignore the way Ismelda’s words cut. “Isn’t he your friend too? What does he think about this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Barnaby Lee was a gentle soul, especially for a Slytherin, and it had hurt her a little to see him take Ismelda’s side when their friendship group had split, even if it did seem like he was doing so unwillingly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Barnaby is a dolt, McKellar. Have you </span>
  <em>
    <span>tried</span>
  </em>
  <span> talking with him for more than five minutes? Because I’ve been stuck with him for a month and it’s excruciating. I thought he’d be fun because his parents were Death Eaters, but I can’t even mention them these days without him bursting into tears! Our group doesn’t work without Merula there to balance him out. You stole her, and I’m going to make you pay!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine shielded herself from the fresh aggression of the assorted charms, hexes and curses that Ismelda knew before she finally ran out of ideas and paused long enough to drop her guard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine hit the witch with a hastily cast banishing charm that sent her flying back into the bushes on the edge of the courtyard she’d come from. Then she looked on from a safe distance as Ismelda struggled out of the foliage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Expelliarmus</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Jasmine cried as soon as Ismelda was up, and sent her wand clattering to the stone paving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t over, McKellar,” Ismelda sneered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it is. Now go back to the dungeons before I have to dock you any house points for breaking curfew. And leave Merula and I alone from now on, if you really thought of Merula as a friend you would never be treating us this way.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ismelda just glared at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Grow up, and get over yourself, Murk. Merula is </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy</span>
  </em>
  <span> with me. And you should be happy for her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The tension in the air between them was as thick as the morning fog. Finally, Ismelda conceded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” she spat, walking to retrieve her wand as Jasmine crossed her arms and curled up her nose in disgust. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ismelda stooped to pick up her wand, but while she was down, she spun herself round and threw another curse at Jasmine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Petrificus Totalus!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time Ismelda had managed to catch Jasmine completely unprepared. Her arms shot to her side and went stiff and she soon found herself lying face up on the ground, hard flagstones digging into her back as she stared up at the hint of starlight peeking through the cracks in the clouds. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ismelda stood and walked to her side. Jasmine’s heart raced. This was not good. She caught flashes of the summer creeping back from the edges of her mind. A girl on the pavement covered in blood. The vicious boots of her unrelenting attackers. Her eyes stung as she braced herself for the worst.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now, you’re going to listen to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ismalda placed a thick-soled boot on Jasmine’s petrified chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine clenched her eyes shut, as if blocking the sight of Ismelda’s acne scarred face leering down at her might spare her the pain that was coming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> be happy for Merula, not now. Do you know how sick it makes me to see the two of you walking around together?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Honestly Jasmine could care less about how seeing them had made Ismelda feel, but a small part of her regretted that fact. They should have been more careful. They’d said they would be. Why did they change their minds? Because of one night in the Prefect’s Bathroom. The sex was good, sure, but what a stupid, stupid reason to throw away their lives. How had they been so irresponsible?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine forced herself to turn her attention back to Ismelda’s rant. Not that the words the witch was saying were any less harmful than the self-deprecating thoughts in her head. But if she was going to die tonight, she at least wanted a warning of when it might happen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What you are, it’s not natural. What you do together…” Ismelda was rambling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The witch dug her heel deeper into Jasmine’s tender breast and Jasmine winced in pain, unable to move away from the pressure, even subtly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a disgrace McKellar, to your family, to Merula’s family, to purebloods everywhere. You’re a mistake, a fault, and you need to be scratched out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine’s eyes widened. This was it then. Ismelda pulled her leg back then raised her foot above Jasmine’s chest and stomped down on her with a sickening crunch. The sound echoed its way through Jasmine’s body before it rang loudly through her ears. She coughed and Ismelda gave her a sickeningly sweet smile before taking a step back and delivering a hard kick to her side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine whimpered in pain as Ismelda kicked her twice more, and then her eyes grew wide with panic as she saw Ismelda draw her wand again with a horrifying look of satisfaction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Expelliarmus!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The spell came from the direction of the castle doors and sent Ismelda’s wand flying back out of Jasmine’s limited view.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Enough, Murk, leave her alone!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The voice was distinctly Merula’s. Jasmine let out a sigh of relief, but Ismaelda drowned her out with another frustrated scream.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m doing this for you Snyde, can’t you see that? I’m trying to save you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ismelda placed her heavy boot on Jasmine’s throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“McKellar is manipulating you. I can’t let her. I have to finish this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>said </span>
  </em>
  <span>leave her alone!” Merula cried just as Jasmine caught the first glimpse of her saviour. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Everte Statum!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ismelda was thrown away from Jasmine. The stone fountain blocked her view, but she could already hear her clambering to find her wand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re trying to save me? Well if it’s me you care about, then here I am, leave her out of this.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula shrugged off her robes, reading herself for a messy fight. Jasmine could hear Ismelda ready herself as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Expulso</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shards of blue light erupted from Merula’s wand and exploded in the air against Ismelda’s hastily cast shielding charm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After that, Jasmine watched then as Merula sent wave after wave of orange and purple flames across the courtyard toward her old friend, mixing verbal and non-verbal magic like it was nothing. Suddenly it dawned on her; every time the two of them had ever raised their wands against one-another, Merula had always been holding back, and she knew much more dark magic than she had ever let on. Jasmine didn’t know whether this revelation was heart-warming or just terrifying. It was getting hard to feel anything but pain inside her broken and bruised body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Diffindo</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Ismelda shouted, snapping Jasmine’s awareness back to the duel, but under the heavy onslaught of Merula’s constant curses Ismelda was starting to sound desperate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Protego</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Merula quickly countered, tracing an arc across the ground in front of her. She glowered at Ismelda through her shattering shield charm, raising her wand with a fresh fire in her eyes. Her next spell caught everyone by surprise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Imperio!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly a deathly silence fell over the courtyard. Then came the slow clips of Ismelda’s boots as she walked over to the central fountain and stepped up onto one of the stone benches that hemmed in the square pond.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine heard a splash as Ismelda leapt down into the water and dropped to her knees. She looked to Merula, standing above her. Her lover’s eyes were raked with bitter indignation as her mouth curled into a wicked grin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine heard a second splash, then a sloshing of water and a desperate gasping for air. Another loud splash and the gasping was silenced. She winced as the sequence repeated itself and closed her eyes for the third and fourth round. This was going too far… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After what seemed like an eternity, Ismelda lept from out of the fountain and stood up straight beside them. A moment later she stumbled backwards and Jasmine could hear her breaths coming short and sharp. Merula had relinquished her control over her, and she was afraid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mer-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Ismelda. You don’t talk to me, ever again. If you even so much as </span>
  <em>
    <span>look </span>
  </em>
  <span>at me again after tonight, I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>end </span>
  </em>
  <span>you. Get out of my sight. Now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ismelda’s fleeing footfalls echoed through the courtyard as she ran back to the castle. Merula turned to Jasmine at last.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Finite Incantatem</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she nearly stumbled over the words as she hurriedly waved her wand over Jasmine’s body. Jasmine felt her muscles loosen up immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She coughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that?” Jasmine narrowed her eyes as she looked up at Merula. It hurt to talk, but she was furious and concerned all at once.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing she wouldn’t have done to us if she’d had the chance, or the skill,” Merula brushed off her accusatory glare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Merula, you just cast an Unforgivable Curse! You could get expelled for that, probably worse!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Relax, Jasmine. She’s fine, and she barely even has a scratch on her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She could have drowned!” Jasmine choked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>drowning her, Jas,” Merula rolled her eyes. “She just needed to cool off is all. Besides, being put under the influence of an Imperius Curse is actually supposed to be quite a pleasant experience. I could have done </span>
  <em>
    <span>much </span>
  </em>
  <span>worse to her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula squinted back at her and Jasmine shuddered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, shouldn’t you be thanking me? I just saved your life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Jasmine grimaced and tried to sit up, but a sharp stabbing in her chest gave her second thoughts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s eyes suddenly shot wide open again and she dropped to the ground beside Jasmine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, Jas, are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I’ve felt better,” Jasmine struggled against the growing tightness within her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula reached around Jasmine’s shoulders and helped her to sit up. Jasmine immediately slumped forward and clung on to Merula for support. She coughed and wheezed at the effort and left a spattering of blood down the front of Merula’s robes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Umm…” Merula turned white. “Fuck. Jas, you are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine wiped her mouth on her sleeve. The pain in her chest was getting worse with each of her laboured breaths. She felt like she was about to pass out. She tried to point at her aching chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, okay, I’ve got you…We need to get you inside…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly Merula’s arms were tugging her to her feet. Jasmine stumbled across the courtyard’s stone paving as Merula half carried her toward the large wooden doors. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine felt lightheaded and dizzy, the edges of her vision dimmed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Help! Somebody!” Merula screamed at the castle. “Someone, please!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine blinked slowly and suddenly she was in someone else’s arms. Thick dark robes and an acrid smell.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula was yelling something beside her, or in the distance… far away?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She saw Madam Pomfrey leaning in over her, but then there was only black.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine felt a hand squeeze her own as her eyes adjusted to the bright light of day that flooded the Hospital Wing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula was sitting in a chair by her bed, violet eyes fixed on her, waiting on the edge of her seat to make sure that Jasmine was okay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine groaned and tried to sit up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not yet,” Merula instructed her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need more time for the potions to take effect. Just sit back.” It looked like Merula had been waiting in the chair next to her all night. Dried tears caked her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine lay for a moment. She focused on Merula’s concerned, but gentle expression. She saw flashes of that face contorted in rage, she felt a pressure on her chest, and memories of a cracking sensation overwhelmed her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What… what happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula hesitated for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ismelda. She ambushed you while you were doing your rounds. She managed to land a full-body bind on you somehow and then… well, you couldn’t really defend yourself after that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh… but you were there. You saved me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula blushed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Looks like I was a bit late, really.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It could have been worse.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess so…” Merula sighed. “I wanted to surprise you, after practice, so I came to find you… but then I saw the flashes. I knew you must be duelling someone out there. When I saw it was her, and I saw her kicking you…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you get in trouble?” Jasmine was slowly piecing the events of last night together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ismelda wouldn’t admit to anything when Snape finally found her. She attacked you unprovoked, that much was obvious. When I found you and I... knocked her into the fountain... it was only to get her off of you. Snape’s got a soft spot for me anyway, he didn’t press too hard.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you…” Jasmine remembered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Knocked her into the fountain</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Merula cut her off. “That’s what I told Snape, and that’s as much as anyone needs to know. Ismelda’s lost us fifty house points already for unauthorised duelling, plus another twenty for breaking curfew. She’s also earned herself a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> of detention for what she did to you. But nobody’s getting expelled. And since I was sort of on my way up to bed from choir practice, and since I was only defending you… I’m not being punished at all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine sighed and squeezed Merula’s hand. She still wasn’t sure about her methods, but at least it didn’t seem like Ismelda would trouble them again. Maybe she’d been right to cast the curse? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had certainly brought a swift end to a potentially very dangerous duel. And she </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>probably saved her life… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Jasmine whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you… we’re in this together.” Merula forced a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Even now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Especially now,” Merula clarified after a quick roll of her eyes. “You are my </span>
  <em>
    <span>girlfriend</span>
  </em>
  <span>, after all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine smiled at Merula’s suddenly very sappy expression. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It still hurt too much to laugh.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Back me up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There's a lot happening in the world at the moment that demands attention, so it's a short chapter today. Hopefully I'll have another up soon to make up for it. Stay safe everyone.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A gentle rocking touch and Jasmine opened her eyes to find Rowan sitting in the chair beside her, hand on her arm. Immediately something felt off. </p><p> </p><p>Rowan would normally visit her in the evenings, after dinner; insistent on giving her a rundown on everything she’d missed in class during the day. He was so punctual about it that it had become a routine part of her hospital stay, like Liz checking in during morning break, Skye stopping by to eat lunch with her, or Chiara making the afternoon rounds as she apprenticed for Madam Pomfry. Like a kiss on the forehead from Merula, first thing every day, before she stopped pretending to sleep in.</p><p> </p><p>But Rowan was early today. Judging by the way the light played across the row of beds opposite her it wasn’t yet noon. Was Rowan skipping class for her? And had Liz even been to see her during break? If she had, Jasmine had slept right through it.</p><p> </p><p>“Rowan…” she croaked.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Beauty,” Rowan said softly.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine rolled her eyes at the new nickname. She couldn’t be sure, but she suspected Penny and Aurélie were behind it… Something about an old muggle fairytale from France. At some point over the weekend it had finally reached Rowan’s ears, and now he refused to drop it.</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” she whispered disparagingly.</p><p> </p><p>“Honestly… I like the look on your face,” he chuckled. “And I needed to lighten the mood.”</p><p> </p><p>Yep. Something was definitely wrong.</p><p> </p><p>“Rowan…”</p><p> </p><p>Rowan slowly brought himself to look her in the eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Jasmine, have you seen Merula this morning?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine felt a tightness in her chest. </p><p> </p><p>“Um… no? Not really. Not since before breakfast… why?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm,” Rowan cleared his throat. “It’s just… she kind of ran out of the hall mid-breakfast and no one has seen her since. She wasn’t in Transfiguration this morning <em> or </em>Care of Magical Creatures… I asked Professor Kettleburn if I could leave to come and look for her, it was only a review class anyway and I handed in my essay last week…” </p><p> </p><p>Nervous beads of sweat crept down Jasmine’s back. </p><p> </p><p>“So where is she?”</p><p> </p><p>“I… I don’t know. I thought maybe she was here. When she ran out, we all kind of assumed this was where she was heading. I thought you must have seen her at least.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well, I haven’t,” Jasmine tried to pull herself up, away from the soft embrace of the pillows behind her and out from the tight hold of the hospital sheets.”</p><p> </p><p>“Woah, careful Jas,” Rowan said as her body screamed the same. Her bones had mended well enough by now, but her flesh was still tender.</p><p> </p><p>“I need to find her,” Jasmine resisted the urge to collapse back.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll find her,” Rowan placed a hand on her shoulder, a firm pressure guiding her down back onto her pillows.</p><p> </p><p>“No… I need…” Jasmine struggled.</p><p> </p><p>“There is no need.”</p><p> </p><p>A soft voice seemed to float down all around them. They turned to see a tall, thin wizard striding down the aisle toward them, magnificent purple and gold robes trailing behind him, half-moon spectacles glinting in the midday sun.    </p><p> </p><p>“Professor Dumbledore, sir,” Jasmine and Rowan’s greetings stumbled over one-another to be the first to acknowledge the arrival of the Headmaster.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, relax. Your friend, Miss Snyde, is quite safe. She is currently taking shelter from the woes of the world in the comfort of my study. I have no doubt she will return to your side, Miss McKellar, once she is feeling up to it.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine’s stomach settled and she sighed loudly, finally allowing Rowan to press her softly back against the bed.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t understand though, what happened?”</p><p> </p><p>Dumbledore came to a stop at the foot of her bed, hands clasped together just below the tip of his long white beard. He raised an eyebrow to Rowan, who grimaced with the burden of having to tell the story himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Merula, sort of… got a howler. At breakfast.”</p><p> </p><p>“A most unfortunate development. It appears that the news about the two of you has found its way back to Miss Snyde’s aunt.” </p><p> </p><p>“She basically disowned her in front of the whole school, in between a lot of really harsh words about how much of a disappointment she was and what exactly she thought of you. It wasn’t great.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh… and she went to see you, Professor?”</p><p> </p><p>“She did indeed, or rather, to Professor Snape, who then brought her to me. I would encourage you all to do the same, should you ever be faced with any challenges which may arise, outside of those related to your studies of course.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine didn’t like the way his bright blue eyes lingered on her.   </p><p> </p><p>“So… you’re doing something for her, right? What’s she going to do now? You can’t just let her aunt kick her out onto the street, where’s she going to go?”</p><p> </p><p>“Do not worry yourself, Miss McKellar. I have promised Miss Snyde that I will be doing everything I can to assist her in reclaiming the Snyde family’s old manor house. As you may know, the house has been boarded up and charmed to prevent unauthorized entry since the day of her parent’s arrest. However, I believe it may be best for her to move back there.” </p><p> </p><p>Dumbledore paused for a moment, giving Jasmine a chance to steady her heart rate. If Merula could just move into her old house… well that didn’t sound so bad.</p><p> </p><p>“She is old enough now to be relieved of her wardship, although we may still need to arrange someone to check on her and ensure her welfare from time to time. For the most part of course, she will be free to stay here, at Hogwarts. Although I must say, it may be safer for the two of you to leave over the coming yuletide break. Staff supervision will be greatly reduced over the holidays and as such it may be hard for us to guarantee that something like Miss Murk’s attack on you does not happen again.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine had chills at the thought. She wasn’t sure she could handle another fight like that. </p><p> </p><p>“Unfortunately, I’m not sure there will be enough time to finalise the plans with the Ministry before Christmas. Perhaps you would like to write to your parents and arrange to bring Merula home with you over the holidays? In the meantime, I’m giving the two of you my blessing to extend your stay on the seventh floor indefinitely.”</p><p> </p><p>Rowan and Jasmine sat in silence for some time, soaking in the headmaster’s words.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually Jasmine spoke.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay… thank you, Professor. That’s… a lot to think about. But thank you, for looking out for her like that.”</p><p> </p><p>Dumbledore smiled softly down at her.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, well Miss McKellar, help will always be given at Hogwarts… to those who ask for it.”</p><p> </p><p>The headmaster raised an eyebrow and turned on his heels to leave.</p><p> </p><p>Why did it always feel like Dumbledore was privately judging her? Jasmine wondered.</p><p> </p><p>Rowan placed a hand over hers.</p><p> </p><p>“I’d better go… but that’s good news, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah…”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine tried to imagine introducing Merula to her parents. What would she say? She was certain it couldn’t be the truth but… what if they already knew? What if whoever had sent an owl to Merula’s Aunt had sent the same to her family? Another howler could already be on the way…</p><p> </p><p>Stupid, stupid girl.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Jasmine didn’t see Merula until late that evening, not until it was nearing curfew. She was hoping they could have had a discussion about what Dumbledore had told her. She desperately wanted to hear Merula’s side of the whole thing. But when she finally came walking through the Hospital Wing, down to her bedside, Jasmine’s girlfriend wasn’t alone.</p><p> </p><p>As Merula took one of the seats beside her, Bill Weasley pulled up another chair opposite her. His face was all business, he barely even acknowledged the fact that they were meeting across a hospital bed. This had to be about the vaults.</p><p> </p><p>“Weasley has something to tell us,” Merula stated plainly. “Something he insisted on saving until he could tell the both of us.” </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine could hear the characteristic edge in Merula’s tone that she put on when she wanted to sound fiercer than she really was. Jasmine knew that it really meant she was still hurting. She wanted to reach out and take her hand, assure her that things would be okay. But Merula’s hands were clasped firmly together between her thighs as she hunched forward to focus on Bill.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine took her lead and turned to study the face of their curse-breaking third wheel.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it, Bill”? She asked, breaking the tension that was rapidly filling the space between them all.</p><p> </p><p>“Right, yes. Well, see, I’ve just met with Ben-”</p><p> </p><p>“Copper,” Merula spat.</p><p> </p><p>“Ben Copper… yes. I wanted to have a word with him about last term, see if he had remembered anything else about that night since we last spoke.”</p><p> </p><p>“The night he attacked me…” Jasmine clenched her fist.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. But, well, the thing is… the two of <em> us </em> were attacked tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>“What!” Merula shot up in her seat.</p><p> </p><p>“We were attacked,” Bill repeated. “By another dark wizard. He was dressed just like you said Ben was when he attacked you and Charlie last year… but Ben was <em> with </em>me…”</p><p> </p><p>“… So ‘R’ has recruited more minions at Hogwarts,” Merula concluded.</p><p> </p><p>“Ben was cursed, <em> not </em>recruited.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s still up for debate.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re not debating anything right now, Mer. Bill, what did the wizard say, anything we could use to find-?”</p><p> </p><p>“He said… He said that before the year ends, one of my friends needs to die.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine and Merula stared at Bill, speechless. There was silence for a moment, before Merula regained her composure.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, it’s a good thing we aren’t friends then,” she said as she slumped back in her chair.</p><p> </p><p>“He obviously means us, Merula. It’s the same threat that Copper gave me last year… Not that he ever followed through with it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can someone please explain what it is with all of these mysterious assassins? And why are they all so bad at their jobs?” Merula quipped, “One curse is all it takes.”</p><p> </p><p>Ben glared at Merula. Jasmine struggled to bring them back on topic.</p><p> </p><p>“And what did Copper tell you, before you were attacked?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not much I’m afraid. He’s still adamant that he was acting against his will. But he can’t remember anything concrete about who it might have been that cursed him.”</p><p> </p><p>“How very convenient. Jasmine, don’t tell me you trust a word that filthy mudblood says.” </p><p> </p><p>“<em> Don’t </em> use that word!” Bill growled.</p><p> </p><p>“What… ‘trust’? I mean, I have to agree, I don’t think we could ever <em> trust </em>him.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know what I meant, Snyde.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, um, team. Can we settle down?” Jasmine asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Easier said than done,” Bill grumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“Rakepick said we need to work together if we’re going to find the next cursed vault and stop ‘R’. That means not fighting with each other every chance we get.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe, but I never signed up to work with Death Eaters.” </p><p> </p><p>“Believing in blood purity does not make me a Death Eater!”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe not, but what was it your parents were in Azkaban for again?”</p><p> </p><p>Merula’s face flushed red as she shot to her feet.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you dare speak about my parents,” she spat.</p><p> </p><p>“Stop!” Jasmine yelled. “Just stop, both of you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Better we argue here than in front of whatever is guarding the next Cursed Vault,” Bill reasoned.</p><p> </p><p>“I would prefer it if there were no arguments on the ward, thank you Mr Weasley.” Madam Pomfry called across the ward from the door to her office. “Keep it down, or you’ll have to leave.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry Madam,” Jasmine called out. Merula returned to her seat and crossed her arms.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not going to stay silent in the face of this blood supremacy,” Bill continued, his voice softer, but no less inflamed.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t like that term…” Merula frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Well I don’t like you using the m-word. It’s offensive.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” Merula twisted her face in confusion. “You’re a Weasley, you’re not even muggle-born.”</p><p> </p><p>“So? I don’t have to be a muggle-born to stand up for their rights. You don’t see Jasmine taking any racist shite from anyone going after Liz and Rowan, do you?” </p><p> </p><p>Merula paused to consider this. Jasmine saw a flash of guilt cross her face as she recalled the incident in the Great Hall last month.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t… this has nothing to do with race. We’re talking about keeping magical bloodlines pure.”</p><p> </p><p>“Come on,” Bill pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s not that different, is it? Jasmine, back me up here?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine blinked. Merula glared at her, mouth agape.</p><p> </p><p>“Um… I don’t… What?” Jasmin stuttered.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell her she’s wrong. She’s telling us that muggle blood is inferior, right? Imagine she was saying that about Indian blood, or African… it’s just another shade of the same prejudice.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s… Rowan and Lizard are still pureblood though. We’re talking about magical ability, not where you're born, or what colour your skin is...” Jasmine shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>Bill sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you get it Jasmine? It’s the same divisive rhetoric, pulling communities apart when we should be standing together. All witches and wizards deserve a chance to develop their talents, just like all people deserve to live their lives without being mistreated because of the colour of their skin, or the name of their god, or who it is they love…” Bill narrowed his eyes at the pair of them.</p><p> </p><p>Merula fidgeted awkwardly with her fingers in her lap. Jasmine felt a weight in her stomach.</p><p> </p><p>“I… I’m sorry,” Merula whispered. Jasmine’s eyes shot to her lover’s. Tears rested on her eyelids, threatening to spill over.</p><p> </p><p>“I never thought of it like that. I just thought… I thought it was about protecting our legacies… Not let our traditions be muddied by new bloodlines,” she added, her voice shaky.</p><p> </p><p>“Our traditions have been getting ‘muddied’ since before they founded Hogwarts. Half the traditions you probably hold up as cornerstones of ‘wizarding culture’ were probably adopted from muggles by witches and wizards trying to fit in with muggle communities back in the middle ages. Half the spells and potions in your textbooks were probably invented by muggle-borns and half-bloods too.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula scrunched up her nose but she didn’t add anything to the discussion.</p><p> </p><p>“I think you’ve made your point,” Jasmine said softly to Bill.</p><p> </p><p>“Just something to think about,” he said coldly as he got to his feet. “Now, it’s nearly curfew, we’d best leave you to rest.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine looked to Merula quickly, then back to Bill.</p><p> </p><p>“Give us a moment?”</p><p> </p><p>Bill huffed and turned to leave. Merula glared daggers as he made his way back down the aisle and out of the Hospital Wing.</p><p> </p><p>“Merula,” Jasmine started.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to talk about it,” she cut her off.</p><p> </p><p>“The stuff this morning, or the blood purity stuff?”</p><p> </p><p>“Any of it. I’m not in the mood. I’m going to bed.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula got to her feet, dragging a hand through her hair as she turned away. </p><p> </p><p>“Merula, I-”</p><p> </p><p>“Good night, McKellar.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I'm fine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jasmine sat down at the Slytherin table. Beside her, Rowan sat deep in thought, apparently weighing up the vegetarian lunch options. Across the table, Liz munched contentedly on a Cornish pasty while her eyes greeted Jasmine with a smile. Next to Liz, staring awkwardly into a plate laden with small meat pies, sat Barnaby Lee.</p><p> </p><p>Once she was comfortable, Jasmine cleared her throat loudly and Barnaby startled.</p><p> </p><p>“Barnaby…”</p><p> </p><p>The hulking boy looked panicked for a moment, before Liz placed a reassuring hand on his wrist and squeezed.</p><p> </p><p>“Um… Hey Jasmine,” he said slowly. </p><p> </p><p>“Er… hey,” Jasmine replied. </p><p> </p><p>This wasn’t how she had expected her first meal out of the hospital wing to start, but here she was. Barnaby had always been closer to Ismelda than he’d been to any of her friends, even after he started working with them in their search for the cursed vaults. To see him sitting here now, after decidedly sticking by her side for the past month, was no small surprise.</p><p> </p><p>“Barnaby wanted to say something to you…” Liz prompted after a brief but excruciating silence. “Didn’t you, Barnaby?”</p><p> </p><p>Barnaby looked as though he might pass out from the shear strain of holding the conversation, but to his credit he slowly raised his gaze to look Jasmine in the eye and gulped.</p><p> </p><p>“Um… yes. I… I wanted to say sorry for the way that I’ve been acting around you lately,” Barnaby’s eyes dropped to the table once more.</p><p> </p><p>“I just… Well, Ismelda said that if I hung out around you too much I might, you know, turn gay too. Not that I want you to feel bad for being that way yourself… except that my parents always used to say that the queers were the worst blood traitors of all… and Ismelda said that the only way to fix you was to make you hurt so bad that you realised that what you were doing was wrong… but then I heard about what she did to you last week and I…” Barnaby rambled on for some time before Jasmine finally interrupted him.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay… I get it. So it’s okay to shout slurs and burn beds, but breaking ribs is a step too far.”</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly!” Barnaby nodded excitedly and Liz moved a hand to her temple beside him. </p><p> </p><p>“Er… no,” he tried, after reading the expressions plastered on the faces opposite him. “Ismelda was wrong. About all of it. I was too. You’ve been a good friend to me, I should have been the same for you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, you should have.” Jasmine agreed.</p><p> </p><p>Barnaby frowned. Liz frowned too and Rowan sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Jasmine said. “He admitted it. I’m tired of putting up with these shite ‘friends’ turning their backs on me the minute something actually goes right for me for a change.”  </p><p> </p><p>“We all are, Jasmine,” Liz said softly. “But Barnaby’s here because he wants to do right by you. We’ve been talking this past week and he really regrets staying friends with Ismelda for as long as he did.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well… he should.”</p><p> </p><p>“She wasn’t even really that fun to talk to, she doesn’t even like crups,” Barnaby added. “Who doesn’t like crups?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine closed her eyes and wished she was somewhere, anywhere else.</p><p> </p><p>Where was Merula anyway?</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Jasmine had History of Magic after lunch, her first propper class since being confined to the hospital wing just over a week ago.</p><p> </p><p>Thankfully, things were a lot less dull in the history classroom now that Rowan had started using the opportunity to practice for his future as Hogwarts’ youngest professor. He was fairly confident that he could better prepare the class for their O.W.L exams than Professor Binns ever would, and sometimes he wouldn’t even wait for old Binns to fall asleep before jumping up and excitedly introducing new topics to the class.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine grinned at the thought of her friend’s eager approach as she settled into her seat that afternoon. At Rowan’s instruction, she opened her textbook to the first chapter on the Medieval Assembly of European Wizards and leaned back to watch him give his lecture.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly though, a chorus of whispers drew her attention to the back of the room. She turned just in time to see Merula quickly close the distance between them and drop her bag on the desk next to her with a heavy thud.</p><p> </p><p>Finally.</p><p> </p><p>Binns shot up at the noise and sleepily instructed Merula to return to her seat before collapsing back down onto the stack of papers piled in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>Her girlfriend looked terrible, Jasmine thought. Her skin was pallid and her smokey eyeshadow only barely masked the dark circles beneath her bloodshot eyes. She sat down in silence and stared at the blackboard at the front of the class without so much as a ‘hello’ thrown Jasmine’s way.</p><p> </p><p>“Merula…” Jasmine whispered. </p><p> </p><p>“Shut it, McKellar.”</p><p> </p><p>The words came like a kick to the gut, but Jasmine saw the way Merula’s clenched fist trembled at her side. Jasmine let her own hand drop down into the space between them and after doing her best to tune back into Rowan’s class, she gently grazed Merula’s knuckles with her own. </p><p> </p><p>Merula quickly drew her hand up into her lap and Jasmine winced.  </p><p> </p><p>Changing tactics, Jasmine scribbled down a quick note on a scrap of parchment and slid it across the table, only to watch as it burst into flame and quickly disappeared into a pile of ash with a flick of Merula’s wand.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine thought back to the other night, their argument with Bill. She thought about what it must have been like that morning, Merula sitting alone and listening to the hateful howler from her aunt… in front of the whole school. She slid down in her chair and did her best to ignore her partner’s pain for the moment. Obviously there was nothing she could do for her, not right now.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As soon as class was dismissed, Merula practically leapt out of her seat and barreled for the door. Jasmine hurriedly pushed past her classmates in an effort to keep up. </p><p> </p><p>As Jasmine made it to Merula’s side, the other girl had just reached the bottom of the stairwell that would take her up to the room the two shared. Jasmine reached out to grab her girlfriend by the wrist and stop her ascending the stone steps. The contact drew a sharp intake of air before Merula stopped and shook her loose.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck off, Jasmine. Just leave me alone, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine ascended a few stairs and came to a stop in Merula’s path.</p><p> </p><p>“No. Not until we’ve talked about this. You look awful, Mer. I can’t see you like this, it’s killing me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine. I’m going back upstairs. You’d better get going too, you’ll miss quidditch practice.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t. Madam Pomfry says she won't have a bludger coming in and undoing all of her hard work. I tried to tell her I’ve never been hit once in my life, but she wouldn’t have it. School policy or something, so I’m sidelined until November, no practice.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine sighed heavily and dropped back against the bannister.</p><p> </p><p>“Then go study with Rowan or something… I’ll see you at dinner after you finish detention.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine shook her head again.</p><p> </p><p>“No detention either. Dumbledore’s given me a temporary reprieve while I’m recovering. You would know that if you’d ever stayed down in the Hospital Wing long enough to speak to me.”</p><p> </p><p> Merula groaned and rolled her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“You're impossible, you know that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Why, because I want to be here for you now? Like you were there for me in the courtyard last week?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes! Ugh, okay fine!” she threw her head back in exasperation as she started up the stairs again. “Come on then.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine stepped aside to let her pass, then hurried up alongside her to their room.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Jasmine lay side by side with her moody girlfriend. Merula’s bed had been magically transfigured once more in order to accommodate the both of them. </p><p> </p><p>For a long time, neither of them said anything. They barely even moved. They didn’t touch at all, until, gingerly, Merula’s hand moved to Jasmine’s waist. Jasmine let Merula’s fingertips slowly push up her undershirt and trace gentle arcs along her tender ribs as they rose and fell in time with her slow breaths.</p><p> </p><p>Glancing down, Merula’s wrist was a mess of fresh scars, angry red against her white skin. Jasmine’s breath had choked in her throat at the sight of them while the two witches were changing out of their school robes. One week alone and she had slipped so quickly into old habits. Jasmine had wanted to wrap her arms around her right then, comfort her and let her know that things were going to get better for them. But Merula had been hesitant to even let her up here, she didn't want to rush a deeper intimacy just yet. </p><p> </p><p>And besides, she had no such guarantees to give. </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine knew she shouldn’t blame herself for what had happened to Merula, but she still felt guilty for not being there for any of it.</p><p> </p><p>Merula looked as though she was plagued by the same guilty thought as she let her fingers drag along the outline of Jasmine’s fading bruises.</p><p> </p><p>“You did save me,” Jasmine reminded her, softly.</p><p> </p><p>Merula still refused to break the silence she had held ever since they had entered the room. Instead, she just pouted and dug a finger into the sensitive gap between two of Jasmine’s freshly healed bones.</p><p> </p><p>“Ow!” Jasmine cried as she twisted away from Merula’s probing touch.</p><p> </p><p>Merula gave up and rolled away onto her back, turning her attention to the beams of the ceiling above them.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine shuffled over until she was close enough that with a deep breath in, the skin of her arm could just about brush against Merula’s. Soon enough, she felt the uncertain touch of Merula’s fingers searching for a home amongst her own.</p><p> </p><p>“I should have never agreed to this,” Merula said softly. “I should never have followed you into the showers that day, everything could have stayed buried then and no one would have had to get hurt.”</p><p> </p><p>“And that would have made you happier?” Jasmine asked, Merula’s cold tone seeding a fresh pain in her chest, even as her touch started to soothe her aching heart.</p><p> </p><p>Merula cringed and Jasmine let her fingers find purchase and held on to her tight.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you like me?” Merula whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Jasmine turned her head, she could see Merula’s eyes were growing teary. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not a good person, Jasmine, all I know how to do is hurt people, or let them down. So why do you like me?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine squirmed. </p><p> </p><p>“Is this about something your aunt wrote to you?”</p><p> </p><p>“This is about us, Jasmine. Obviously some part of you has decided I’m worth throwing your life away for, so what is it?”</p><p> </p><p>“I… er…” Jasmine stammered.</p><p> </p><p>“Give me one good reason why I deserve you, or we need to break up,” Merula’s voice came out a cracked whimper as she delivered her ultimatum.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine tried not to fall apart at her words. </p><p> </p><p>“You don’t want that,” she whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“I…” Merula wrenched her hand out of Jasmine’s and shuffled away from her. “This isn’t about what I want.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine winced and tried to pull Merula back to her but she quickly tore herself out of Jasmine’s arms and sat up in the middle of the bed. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t need a hug, Jasmine, I need to know why in Merlin’s name you seem to think I’m good enough for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine watched as Merula curled up in front of her, drawing her knees up to her chest. The fabric of her top pulled taut against her sharp, bony back as she hunched forward and wrapped her arms around herself. Jasmine could hardly cope with how incredibly small her lover looked at that moment and she felt a tear welling in her own eyes as she rose to sit cross-legged behind her.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine watched Merula’s tiny frame quiver in the amber glow of the sunset outside and her heart ached for her.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine,” Jasmine sighed. “Okay… but I need you to look at me.”</p><p> </p><p>Slowly, begrudgingly, Merula turned to face her. Jasmine studied her lover intently, trying to form a coherent sentence in her mind that would adequately sum up her attraction.</p><p> </p><p>“For a start… you're the most strong-willed witch I know. You’re clever, you’re ambitious, you’re an incredibly talented duelist and potioneer. Also I really, um, well I like your eyebrows, a lot… and your nose and…” Jasmine blushed. “I mean you’re just really cute, like, everything about you, in this strange way I can never quite understand. I like that you don’t care about showing up to class stinking like cigarettes sometimes, I like that spicy, sweet clove smell. And I like that when your nail polish gets chipped back you can see the dirt and dried ingredients under your fingernails…” </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine’s blush had spread to Merula now but the witch’s expression turned to a scowl once she caught Jasmine staring at her.</p><p> </p><p>“But what makes you ‘good enough’ for me? I can’t answer that. Not because I think you’re not, but because I’m not convinced I’m that much better than you. I’m no less arrogant or petty than you are when I can’t get what I want. I’m certainly doing worse than you in class. I had more friends than you, I guess. But half of them I only made friends with because I needed something out of them. I’m manipulative and selfish sometimes, and I’m just as guilty as you are of judging people based on their blood status before I get to know them. Also, my family might not have been standing beside the Dark Lord through the war but they weren't exactly cheering to see him defeated either.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula stiffened at the allusion to her parents, but Jasmine still felt that most of what she’d said had managed to get through to her.</p><p> </p><p>“So…” Merula paused for a moment, drawing a deep breath. “You don’t think I’m a horrible person who’s ruining your life?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not even close,” Jasmine replied.</p><p> </p><p>“You really are an idiot then.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine chuckled and Merula’s face scrunched up as she half-suppressed a scornful laugh. </p><p> </p><p>“Why are you laughing at that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Kiss me,” Jasmine instructed.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck off,” Merula scoffed back.</p><p> </p><p>“Not until you kiss me.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula rolled her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you so annoying?” She groaned.</p><p> </p><p>“Because you know I’m right.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe…” Merula conceded, edging closer. “But that doesn’t mean I have to kiss you.”</p><p> </p><p>She sneered and shoved Jasmine backwards. Jasmine reached up as she fell and grabbed the front of Merula’s camisole, pulling her down on top of her. The young witch landed badly, sending a rush of pain through Jasmine’s chest, but she didn’t care. The two of them quickly slid their bodies around until they could lay comfortably. </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine reached up to grab a tuft of Merula’s hair, dragging her close.</p><p> </p><p>Merula’s hot breath flooded Jasmine’s senses as Jasmine wrapped her free arm tightly around the small of her lover’s back.</p><p> </p><p>“I think you might,” Jasmine teased.</p><p> </p><p>Merula scoffed quietly, but she quickly closed the distance between them. For a split second, their lips brushed together, then parted as both girls pulled back and grinned wide.</p><p> </p><p>Merula shook her head softly. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” she whispered, and the next time her lips met Jasmine’s they were tinged with salt. </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine felt Merula’s tears falling against the soft skin of her own cheeks as their lips pressed together. She caught a quick breath and felt her lover’s inhale as if it was her own. Her fingers weaved their way through Merula’s mop of hair. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t leave me like that again,” Merula begged her between sobs and sniffles.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine shook her head, rocking her forehead against Merula’s. It was a promise she couldn't guarantee she could keep, but it was one that Merula needed to hear.</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t,” she kissed Merula quickly. “I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula settled down on top of her and she wrapped herself tightly around the delicate girl.</p><p> </p><p>They didn’t move again until the bells in the clocktower and the growing hunger in their bellies forced them to make their way downstairs for dinner.</p><p>  </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day, Jasmine left a short note on their small table and set a small fire in the wood burner before slipping out of her and Merula’s room and into the stairwell of the Turris Magnus.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She regretted skipping out on any opportunity to snuggle with her lover before starting the day. Especially after spending the previous evening comforting her through a late night Astronomy practical while half the class mockingly swooned over how cute it was that ‘beauty and the beast’ had been ‘reunited at last’. But she had a plan this morning that would hopefully make up for everything the pair had endured over the past week. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine rolled her eyes and tried to push the teasing to the back of her mind. Before too long she was striding out into the bitter cold of the morning with her scarf pulled tightly around her neck and her breath fogging in the air in front of her. She focused on the look she hoped to bring to Merula’s face if she could make this work.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Moving with a fierce determination, Jasmine didn’t stop until she was standing with both feet at the top of the wooden steps that led to Rubeus Hagrid’s door. She reached up with a gloved hand and grabbed a hold of the cast iron door knocker in front of her, rapping it three times against the metal plate. The sharp cracks echoed through the empty school grounds and an excited barking erupted from somewhere inside the small stone hut.</p><p> </p><p>“Quiet down, Fang,” came the booming voice of Hogwarts’ groundskeeper. “Jus’ give us a minute,” he called. </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine waited as patiently as she could in the biting highland fog.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh! Hello Jasmine, it's a bit early for you ter be poppin’ ‘round innit?” Hagrid said as he finally pulled open the door. “Shouldn' yeh be up in the Great Hall?”  </p><p> </p><p>“Hello Hagrid,” Jasmine rushed against the cold. “I know it’s early but I’ll be quick, I just need your help, can I come in?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, of course,” the half-giant smiled as he stepped aside. “I’ve jus’ put the kettle on, come in out the cold an’ I’ll get yeh some tea.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine stepped inside. She smiled as she looked around the room. The oversized furnishings looked so cramped in the small space, but they gave the hutt’s interior a strange, cosy charm that Jasmine always felt was more homey than any of the many spacious rooms in the McKellar house. True to Hagrid’s word, a large copper kettle hung in the fireplace across from her.</p><p> </p><p>“Awful business with that Ismelda,” came Hagrid’s voice from behind her as he pulled the door closed. “I’m glad ter see yer lookin’ alrigh’ now though.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks Hagrid,” Jasmine said as she took a seat at the wooden table.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that what’s botherin’ yeh this mornin’, Jasmine? More trouble with bullies?”</p><p> </p><p>“Um, well… Not exactly…” Jasmine crossed her arms, waiting for the warmth of the fire to spread through her. </p><p> </p><p>Hagrid took a seat in the large armchair by the fireplace.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, what is it I can help yeh with then?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well I… I want to do something for Merula. And I was hoping I might get your help with it.”</p><p> </p><p>Hagrid looked intrigued, but stayed silent, awaiting a fuller explanation.</p><p> </p><p>“After she rescued me from Murk last week she’s been really hard on herself, saying it's her fault it even happened. She also got that howler from her aunt. She won’t talk about it much, but I can tell it hurt her a lot. She just… She isn’t doing too well at the moment, you know?”</p><p> </p><p>Hagrid sat for a moment, pondering this.</p><p> </p><p>“Aye, that’s no good at all. Not sure where I come in though…”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine fidgeted with the robes bunched up in her lap. She knew Hagrid would probably be amicable to her idea, but it still felt like she might be taking things a step too far. Too many years spent in the company of her old Hufflepuff friends had whittled down her natural sense of entitlement, slightly. But she <em> had </em>done a lot to help Hagrid in the past. Surely he owed her this at least. Yes, that was her angle.</p><p> </p><p> “Well,” she started. “I was thinking… Do you remember that surprise birthday party I threw you back in third year?” </p><p> </p><p>“Aye…”</p><p> </p><p>“Well Merula’s birthday isn’t that far away now. I mean, it needn't be as extravagant as the one I threw for you… but I thought maybe we could do something similar for her. It would only be with a few friends, nothing huge, just something to show her that people actually do care about her, that not everyone thinks she’s completely awful…” Jasmine trailed off. “Anyway, I thought maybe we could hold it here, in your hut.”</p><p> </p><p>“Here? In my lil’ hut? Don’ yeh think Merula might prefer somethin’ a bit more grand?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re right, she might… normally. But it doesn’t feel like there are many <em> safe </em> places left for the two of us right now. You’ve always been a good friend to us though, Hagrid. I can’t think of anywhere <em> I’d </em> rather celebrate, and I’m sure Merula would agree.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine smiled, Hagrid started to choke up.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh…” he said, softly. “Gosh, Jasmine… I’m not sure what ter say…”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll let us hold the party here?”</p><p> </p><p>“Er, I mean, o’ course I will, if yeh really feel that, how could I say no?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine paused contentedly. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you so much, Hagrid,” she said, looking up at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’ mention it, it’s an honour.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine grinned and decided to push her luck with the gentle half-giant. “One more thing Hagrid…”</p><p> </p><p>“An’ what’s that, then?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I wanted to get something special for Merula’s birthday, but… Well I’m not exactly sure how to get a hold of it. So if it’s not too much to ask, I was wondering if…”</p><p> </p><p>Hagrid returned her smile, knowingly. </p><p> </p><p>“Jus’ leave it with me…” he said, before the shrill cries of the kettle cut through the start of his next question.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine smiled wider. Perfect.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Happy birthday, Merula Snyde</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’ve had a lot of comments recently letting me know how helpful this story has been for some of you to read during these trying times. I hope that I can repay your kind words now with this chapter. It’s about twice as long as I was planning, but I’ve packed it full with all of the promised fluff and smut you’ve been waiting for. </p><p>Also, after writing some of Hagrid’s dialogue for this, I decided not to hold back as much with the way I write Skye, I hope you'll appreciate it, apologies if she’s a bit harder to understand now…</p><p>Please stay safe, stay healthy and enjoy. I’m really looking forward to reading your comments on this one...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jasmine woke to the pitter-pattering of rain on glass. She rolled on to her side and slipped an arm around the warm body she found beside her. Merula. Quickly losing herself in the smell of her lover’s hair, she snuggled closer. Merula mumbled something and drifted back to sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another, heavier, lashing of rain against the window and the witches stirred from their slumber once more. Jasmine smiled to herself and planted a kiss at the nape of Merula’s neck. Merula’s hand cupped her own and dragged it up to rest above her heart.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning,” Jasmine whispered. “Happy birthday.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mmm,” Merula agreed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine kissed at her girlfriend’s neck again and Merula twisted around until they were face to face. Jasmine stared across the pillow into her eyes, deep purple in the gloomy light of the morning. Then she felt one of Merula’s legs slipping up between her own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm,” she sighed contentedly as she clenched her thighs around Merula’s exploratory leg. Pulling Merula’s chest forward until it rested firmly against her own, Jasmine began to rock herself up and down against her lover.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had taken time to fully rekindle the intimacy the two had shared after initially deciding to date. Their relationship as friends, or rivals, had always been one of hot and cold, so it had been no surprise to Jasmine when the dynamic showed up in their love life too. She was just glad that this weekend was starting out on a hot note. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula ran a finger up Jasmine’s neck and behind her ear before sliding her hand to the back of her head and pressing their faces together. It was a pose they both held with rigid purpose as Jasmine’s thrusts grew stronger and beads of sweat gathered at her temples. Jasmine whimpered as she drew herself closer to what was building inside of her. Under the collar of her flannelette pyjamas her skin felt like it was on fire, but she knew that stopping to unbutton her shirt now would only lose her valuable seconds in the race for her orgasm, and so she pressed on, face flushed, panting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love the way you get so desperate,” Merula chided as she withdrew her leg without warning and pushed Jasmine back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh…?” Jasmine mewled, feebly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Merula cracked a smile. “You really think I’m going to go that easy on you, on </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>birthday?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine exhaled heavily and bit her lip, trying not to whimper, doing her best to convey her desperation through pleading hazel eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula let her fingers wander along the band at the top of Jasmine’s pyjama bottoms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you say?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine smiled to herself as her lover took charge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please?” She ventured.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s grin widened. A few of her fingertips ducked under the fabric above Jasmine’s lower midriff. Jasmine felt herself clenching in anticipation, but Merula stalled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm, no,” Merula said nonchalantly, pulling back and away from Jasmine’s skin again. “I think I’m hungry for something more tangible this morning. How about we get down to the Great Hall while the food’s still hot, huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine moaned, but she did her best to settle her raging hormones as Merula swung her legs out from under the covers and hopped down to the floor below. Watching Merula stroll into the centre of the room and lift her nightshirt over her head proved to be a slight hindrance in her endeavour though, and as she shifted closer to the edge of the bed herself she could feel the wetness of her core spilling out from between her lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a reluctant sigh, Jasmine forced herself to avert her eyes while her girlfriend finished changing. She crossed the room to her own trunk, resting atop the bed intended for her to sleep in, and started sorting through her casualwear, looking for an appropriate outfit for the day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A tertiary glance revealed a still topless Merula behind her, pulling her baggy black trousers up over a pair of grey, striped tights. With a rough colour scheme to work with Jasmine turned back to her trunk. Not that she had really been expecting anything other than black or very dark grey from the other witch, but it had definitely been worth checking, for at least two reasons.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine grabbed her black, loose-knit jumper and a tight woolen polo neck to wear underneath it. She paired these with her charcoal grey stovepipes and a large, black overcoat. After slipping past Merula into the bathroom to freshen up, she got changed into her outfit. Deciding to keep Ember close, she allowed her pet tarantula to crawl up into her coat’s inside pocket before fastening its buttons and hanging her silver and green school scarf around her neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Jasmine searched for her gloves and tam, Merula arrived from out of the bathroom herself, having added a black polo neck of her own to her outfit. She fastened her suspenders in place and produced a beautiful double breasted coat from out of her trunk with a swish and a flick of her wand. The coat floated across the room gracefully before the bell sleeves slid up Merula’s outstretched arms and she tucked her wand into the pocket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Trust Merula to find a way to show off just getting dressed, but Jasmine couldn’t deny her impressive use of non-verbal magic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula simply rolled her eyes at Jasmine and began buttoning up her coat. It was an imposing cut, with more of a wizarding influence than Jasmine’s muggle inspired clothing choices. The collar sat high against Merula’s neck and the hem reached down to just below her knees. She caught Jasmine admiring her and fixed her with a flirtatious smile. From within the pocket which didn’t contain her wand, she drew a pair of long black leather gloves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine blushed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Merula asked as she pulled on the gloves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why have I not seen this outfit before? It’s incredible,” Jasmine said, mouth agape.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Today’s a special day…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look so… grown up,” Jasmine snickered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula grinned and for a moment a hint of wickedness crept around the corners of her mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m my own woman now, aren’t I?” She picked up her fur cap and placed it on her head with a flourish.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine stepped back and gestured toward the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“After you then, madam…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, shut up,” Merula narrowed her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine chuckled to herself and shortly Merula was giggling too. For the first time in weeks, Jasmine realised. Her heart warmed at the sound of Merula’s soft laughter. It was certainly a pleasant change from the norm. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rain pelted the stone floor of the clocktower courtyard as Jasmine and Merula stepped outside after breakfast. It gave the two pause to think. Jasmine turned toward her girlfriend and pulled an uncertain face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we should wait for a bit? We could hang out in the Artefact room maybe?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be stupid,” Merula shook her head. She retrieved her wand from her coat pocket and raised it skyward, producing an elegant umbrella charm to keep them dry. With a smug expression, she offered Jasmine her arm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See? It’s fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine snuggled into her and the two set out across the courtyard. Then something occurred to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, did you know this spell last month, when we got stuck down by the lake in that storm?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe, why?” Meula shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, didn’t you think it might have been useful to cast it then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, the thought did cross my mind… But why rush back to meet with Professor Rakepick when I had a perfectly good excuse to keep you all to myself for the afternoon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine laughed in disbelief and gave her girlfriend a playful shove.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula stumbled forward and rushed the last few steps until she was back under cover. Then she moved to the start of the rickety wooden bridge that spanned the ravine opposite the courtyard. As Jasmine joined her, she stowed her wand and produced a box of black kretek cigarettes from out of her bag.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” Jasmine couldn't stifle her shocked tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? No one’s out today, who’s gonna catch us? You want one?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine shuffled in place awkwardly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t. Quidditch. I don’t want to ruin my lungs,” she said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pfft,” Merula scoffed. “Whatever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She retrieved a single cigarette and held it in her lips while she returned the tin to her bag. Drawing her wand again, she held it to the tip of the cigarette until it sparked a small flame. The lit cigarette crackled as she took in a long drag.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Turning away, she exhaled a plume of smoke that Jasmine only just caught a whiff of. Burning tobacco mixed with cinnamon and cloves. Jasmine thought back to the taste of her first kiss, the memory was now irrevocably tied to the scent of Merula’s iconic addiction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She must have been blushing because Merula gave her a sly look as she turned back and took another drag.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula didn’t often smoke in front of Jasmine, and never out in the open in broad daylight before. There was something different about it this time, it felt… more risky, or rebellious? It certainly set Jasmine’s heart racing more than she’d expected it would. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t help but think back to summer nights in Glasgow, tagging along with Eilidh and her mates, never fully at ease in the muggle world, but never really wanting the night to end. Perhaps, Jasmine thought, the thing she really liked about Merula was that she reminded her of that group of wayward girls. The girls who had taken her in after the disappearance of her brother. The girls who gave her something to look forward to whenever the term came to an end and she was forced back home to Ayr.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The pair of witches stopped halfway along the bridge. Merula leaned out through one of the windows in the bridge’s lattice, her elbows resting on the dilapidated wooden railing. Jasmine stuck her head through the window next to her and surveyed the valley below. Towering fir trees reached up toward her, shivering as the wind and the rain whipped around them through the narrow ravine. The combined grassy scent of the conifers, the musky petrichor of rain and the sickly sweet smell of the combusted clove oils made for a cloying combination and before too long Jasmine was forced to retreat back under the cover of the bridge. The smell of damp timber flooded her sinuses as she inhaled sharply, cleansing her palette.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ready to go?” Merula turned back to her, half-concerned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not just yet,” she decided.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few more deep breaths, and she stepped back to Merula’s side, peering back through the window and taking in the highland scenery beyond.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thankfully the morning showers had eased by the time that Jasmine and Merula finished crossing the bridge and made it to the stone circle of the Sundial Garden. They stayed there, backs against the damp stone, hidden from any prying eyes up in the castle, for a quiet moment, listening to the chirping calls of the crossbills in the trees above them while Merula finished smoking her kretek. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine knew that they needed to stay close enough to Hagrid’s Hut to justify stopping in on the way back to the castle, but she also wanted to give Merula the say in where their walk took them. As such, she was pleased when Merula suggested an excursion down past the groundskeeper’s hut and into the outskirts of the forest beyond. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The remaining hours of the morning were lost chasing one another back and forth along the forest trails, dancing among the autumn leaves and more than a little snogging, perched up between the split trunks of an old oak tree.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the happiest Jasmine had ever seen Merula look as the two of them skirted the edge of the woods on their way back toward the castle around midday. She was practically beaming as Jasmine gave her a sideways glance and chuckled to herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” She choked through the edge of her own laughter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just nice to see you smile so much. It’s a good look on you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula stopped walking. Her cheeks were already flushed from the cold, but Jasmine thought she picked up a hint of a blush. She did her best to pout through the embarrassment, and Jasmine decided now was the best time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, why don’t we stop in and see Hagrid on the way back? Maybe he’s got some rock cakes or something we can share for your birthday?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula furrowed her brow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I’d rather eat a horklump.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, bad example, but it’d still be nice to see him, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a testament to Merula’s good mood that she didn’t argue the point any further.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess so. Sure, why not?” she agreed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine smiled and stepped back to wrap an arm around Merula’s waist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A thin streak of smoke rose from the chimney of Hagrid’s stone hut and mingled with the grey sky above as the witches made their approach. Jasmine slipped her arm down and took Merula’s hand before they ascended the steps together and knocked on the door to announce their presence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Be righ’ with yeh,” Hagrid called out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is a party,” Merula stated plainly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Jasmine started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re very easy to read, Jasmine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine shook her head in dismay just as Hagrid opened the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hello you two,” Hagrid did his best to look surprised, but Merula just peered past him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who else is here?” She craned her neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? I… er… ahh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine gave the half-giant a crooked smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yer too smart fer us, Miss Snyde,” Hagrid said with just a hint of disappointment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shuffled to the side to reveal Skye, Rowan and Liz crouched by the orange armchair behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Surprise?” Jasmine said softly as Merula slipped inside and surveyed the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A hodge-podge of party decorations were strung between the various animal-traps and cages hanging from the ceiling and the large wooden table was set for six and piled with an assortment of home-cooked treats. Thankfully not all of them looked to be Hagrid’s handiwork.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Happy birthday, Merula,” Jasmine’s friends chorused with a greatly diminished enthusiasm as they got to their feet and joined her partner in the middle of the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula stood speechless, her blank expression out of place amid the cheerful faces of the party guests.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jasmine?” She ventured with a tinge of uncertainty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine came to Merula’s side and slipped her arm back around her waist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it, Mer?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine watched as a single tear welled up at the corner of Merula’s eye and spilled down her cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is…” Merula started. “No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly Merula was bolting for the door. Jasmine just stood there in shock, looking around at the equally stunned faces of her peers and their bearded host.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I’ll go check on her,” she stumbled through the words as soon as she could form them. Then she turned to the door and slipped back outside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula wasn’t hard to find, standing in the middle of Hagrid’s garden. The pumpkins surrounding her had grown impossibly large, ripe and ready for the Hallowe'en Feast that was almost upon them. Her black coat cut against the sea of orange, and Jasmine crossed the mud and the grass to join her where she stood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The morning showers had picked up again now, although the rain was lighter now. An infinite spattering of soft droplets which seemed to drift in the air more than anything else. It was a persistent rainfall, but one easily ignored, and Merula hadn’t bothered to re-cast any protection against it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that?” Jasmine asked, as delicately as she could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula stood in the cold and wet, arms crossed in front of her chest, refusing to meet Jasmine’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jasmine it’s… it’s too much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cold nipped at Jasmine’s fingers and she stuffed her hands down into the pockets of her overcoat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A surprise party? Really? The decorations, the food… I don’t deserve this, it’s too much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine suppressed an urge to turn the conversation into a battle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Merula, that’s just it. I put together this party to show you that you </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>deserve it. The four people in that hut right now are the closest friends I have. They’ve stuck by me through so much of my shite, and for whatever reason, they always have my back, no matter what messes I drag them into. But they’re your friends now too, Merula. They are so, so proud of you for the way you stood up to Murk to save me, and their hearts broke for you when the only thing you got for it was that nasty howler.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine took a quick break to make sure her words were not wasted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So when I suggested to them that we might throw you a little celebration for your birthday, to say thank you for all that you’ve done for me, and to welcome you properly into our little group… Mer, they were so, so excited to do this for you. So please, just this once… just let yourself have something nice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula looked up at her then, violet eyes swimming with some inner turmoil. She swayed slightly in the swirling rain, tiny droplets clinging to the fur of her cap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… everyone really came down here just for me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula passed in thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Fine,” she said eventually.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine closed the distance between them and wrapped her girlfriend in a hug. Merula was stiffer at first than she had been back in the forest, but she soon softened into the embrace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two returned to the party to a round of cheers from Jasmine's friends and thunderous applause from the direction of the keeper of the keys and grounds. Fang stood up from where he’d been dozing by the fire and barked excitedly. Merula blushed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, everyone. This is… a lot for me, but I really appreciate it,” Merula said. She nodded curtly in agreement with herself, seemingly satisfied with the level of sentimentality she’s achieved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shall we have something to eat?” Jasmine suggested.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no, let’s do presents first,” Liz grinned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s face lit up at the thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Presents? I get presents?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“O' course ye nugget, what kind o' honkin' party do ye think this is?” Skye clapped a hand on Merula’s shoulder and her eyes went wide. “Lochrin’s bawbag, Jasmine, yer lassie’s built like a rake.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula shook loose of Skye’s grip and turned on her with an indignant stare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut yer geggie, Skye,” Jasmine stepped up to defend her girlfriend. A look of embarrassment quickly crept across the quidditch captain’s features and she looked to her feet sheepishly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah wiz jus’ gibberin’ Jazzi, ah didnae mean anythin’ by it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine frowned and Skye was forced to address Merula instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah wiznae meaning any offence tae ye. Ah’m sorry, Mer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula simmered for a moment. And then, fulfilling nobody's expectations, she simply laughed it all off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah well, you know what Parkin… </span>
  <em>
    <span>yer no wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she conceded in such a shockingly bad, drawn out imitation of the Scottish accent that Jasmine and Skye could only just hold themselves back from bursting with laughter. Even Merula cracked a smile at the sight of their red faces.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hagrid glanced awkwardly across the room at Rowan and Liz, who shrugged back at him uncertainty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Presents then?” Liz suggested again, once the room had settled back down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hagris cleared his throat though, drawing the immediate attention of the assembled Slytherin students.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How abou’ we do eat first, hey? Yer friends have been bakin’ half the mornin’ fer yeh Jasmine, and it’d be a damn shame if we left their cookin’ ter go cold now, wouldn’ it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t wrong, and a shared nod between Rowan and Liz confirmed it. And so with that, Hagrid and his guests moved to take their seats around the large wooden table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hagrid's rock cakes were there of course, shapeless lumps of rock hard dough and stoney raisins that they were, piled high toward the edge of the table furthest from the door. There was also a homemade carrot cake, iced green, with grey words 'happee birthdae Mrula’ spelled out in lopsided grey lettering that Hagrid must have done himself as well. Next to the cake was a decently sized box of treacle fudge tied up with a red ribbon and a large porcelain teapot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taking pride of place in the centre of the table was a stack of golden-brown pastries, which must have been what everyone had been baking while Merula and Jasmine played in the forest. There was a collection of half a dozen pot pies - foraged mushroom and thyme, Liz said - and a half dozen more poorly folded samosa that Jasmine instantly recognised as an attempt at Rowan’s grandma’s recipe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been busy,” Jasmine said, impressed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rowan and Liz glowed with pride.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Th' fudge is from me… an’ that counts as mah prezzie too,” Skye hurried out an explanation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine chuckled and smiled across at Merula, whose eyes darted between the selection of food items as she attempted to process the collected kindness of her newfound friends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for coming, everyone. And thank you for the food,” Jasmine said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And thank you for hosting us, Hagrid,” Rowan added with a grin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Always happy ter have company, especially when yeh bring such fine smellin’ food.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The table chuckled collectively.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s dig in then,” Rowan smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right away, Jasmine reached for the nearest samosa and brought it to her plate. Even cold on the train the fried pockets of spiced potato and peas were always delicious, so she was excited to try a fresh one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rowan caught her eye across the table as she bit down into the flaky pastry. He watched her expectantly and she did her best to grin at him through her mouthful. As the ginger and cumin hit her palate she couldn’t help but let out an audible moan and Merula nearly choked on the sip of tea she’d just taken. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine’s face reddened and Rowan had the audacity to wink at her then. This time it was Jasmine’s turn to cough and sputter as the gesture forced her to laugh with her mouth still full of stuffing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Skye clapped her hard on the back and soon all eyes were on her as she struggled to regain her composure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dead brilliant pies, Lizard,” Skye diverted the group’s attention. “Where did ye say ye found th' mushrooms again?”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The guests of Merula’s birthday party relaxed around the hut after finishing their hearty meal and each having a go at what was almost a passable birthday cake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hagrid’s eyes were glassy as Jasmine coaxed Ember out of her pocket and down her arm onto the groundskeeper’s outstretched hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s beautiful,” he sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula sat, breaking small pieces off of the slice of cake still on her plate and letting them fall to the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liz moved to sit cross legged down by the fireplace, taking the leftovers of her own slice of cake over to see if Fang found it any more palatable than she had.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For some reason Jasmine had missed, Skye had challenged Rowan to an arm wrestle after the meal, and they now sat hunched over the table and dangerously close to toppling the untouched stack of rock cakes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine turned back to Merula and placed a hand on her thigh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How’s it going?” She asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula stared at her, a corner of her mouth turning up slightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s…” She paused to survey the room. “This is really nice. I’m glad you convinced me to give it a shot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine felt Merula’s hand fall into place on top of hers just before she leaned in and planted a quick peck on Jasmine’s cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Skye’s eyes shot toward them and Rowan nearly stole a victory before she steadied herself and regained the upper hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine felt a rush of confidence even as her face flashed scarlette.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Square go? Me and the winner?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ye’r on, Jasmine,” Skye grinned as she tipped Rowan’s hand to the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rowan winced and withdrew his arm and Jasmine took his place. Merula chewed her lip as Jasmine rolled up her sleeve and set her elbow on the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Skye wrapped her hand around Jasmine’s and suddenly the battle was underway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wh-” Jasmine caught herself and brought their hands back to an upright position.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She focused on Skye’s slate green eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Skye’s pupils flared and Jasmine’s heart started beating faster.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Skye’s mouth twitched as she pushed harder. Jasmine clenched her jaw as her hand dipped toward the table, she fought back. A vein bulged in Skye’s neck. Jasmine started to sweat. Both girls hunched forward, each determined to best the other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula and Rowan watched on intently. But each time Jasmine let her attention flitter toward them, Skye gained more ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gie up, Jas,” Skye spat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Och, get it up ye,” Jasmine retorted as she struggled to push Skye back to vertical.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Skye huffed, her blue dip-dyed hair falling across her straining face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine narrowed her eyes. She was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>going to lose this. Her chair leg squeaked against the floorboards as she lifted her body into the fight. She curled her wrist, and brought her hand over Skye’s, much to her captain's dismay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Skye watched in horror as Jasmine forced the momentum of her body through her hand and pressed Skye down toward the table. Skye struggled to reposition her hand around Jasmine’s but Jasmine had too big an advantage now. Her muscles popped as she threw Skye’s hand flat against the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two girls immediately stood and pulled each other into a hug, their sweaty hands still locked together between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula leaned in and whispered something to Rowan and the two chuckled to each other as Jasmine and Skye exchanged compliments and commiserations.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just then, Liz stood and retrieved a small brown parcel from her bag by the door. She walked over to the table and placed the gift down in front of Merula.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Time for presents,” she announced, and this time there were no objections.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula started working at the knotted twine as the other guests flocked around her. As the knot came undone and the paper fell away, she was left staring down at a sturdy looking cardboard box. Under the lid, the box was divided into four compartments, each holding a tiny glass vial.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula raised the vials one by one, inspecting the handwritten labels carefully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Glumbumble treacle, dried aconite, jobberknoll feathers and… Acromantula venom? Where did you get this?” Merula exclaimed, holding the vial up to the light to reveal the few drops of thick, clear venom sliding around in the bottom of the glass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“On a walk,” Liz shrugged casually.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hagrid eyed her suspiciously.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t kill anyone for it if that’s what you’re thinking,” Liz forced a laugh. “No creatures were harmed in the gathering of these ingredients.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula didn’t care. She slipped the vial back into the box with the others and replaced the lid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Liz...ard,” she smiled. “Really.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well that’s a hard act to follow,” Rowan joked with just a hint of nerves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slid a rectangular parcel across the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It looks like a book,” Merula said as she lifted the present and teased it out of its wrapping paper. And it was, a beautifully bound book, chestnut brown and embossed with silver.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s ‘The Magic of the Primes’ by Lukas Karuzos,” Rowan explained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can see…” Merula answered slowly, although without an ounce of sarcasm. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rowan’s mouth curled into a smile beneath his youthful beard, any hidden ambiguity was fully resolved by his big brown eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s less dense than some of his other work, but it’s still really interesting. I hope you like it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure I will.” Merula said with a small smile.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then it was Hagrid’s turn. Reaching over to a shelf on the wall, the half-giant retrieved a bulging Hessian bag and popped it down on the table with a grin. Merula looked hesitant, but she drew the back closer and loosened the drawstring to peer inside, puzzling over the contents. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this… creature food?” She asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah…, yes, well…” Hagrid fetches down one of the cages hanging from the rafters, an old handkerchief draped over the bard obscuring any occupants from view.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would yeh like ter do the honours, Jasmine? It’s yer gift ter her after all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jasmine was practically glowing with excitement as she took the cage from Hagrid, cleared a space for it on the table and set it down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s wide open violet eyes fixed on the cage in front of her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Happy birthday, Merula Snyde,” Jasmine said as she pulled the handkerchief away with a flourish.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s mouth dropped open in disbelief and her hand shot up to her face to mask her surprise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For me?” she squeaked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine beamed at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inside the cage, an adorable soft orb of orange fur bobbed up and down, letting out a low, purring hum.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can keep it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine nodded. Merula laughed to herself, still hesitant to believe the puffskein was her own. She carefully took the critter out of its cage and hugged it tightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you so much, Jas.” She started to tear up as she cooed down at the fluffy little creature in her arms. “Oh my gosh, I love her, wow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said your aunt never let you have pets. Happy emancipation.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s eyes gleamed and she grinned wide.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… Jasmine.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest of her sentiment was left unspoken, but Jasmine didn’t need to hear the words out loud just yet. Her heart had already leapt to its own conclusions.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not wishing to offend their host, Jasmine and Merula had each taken a rock cake from the pile as they’d left the party. They watched now as the two cakes plummeted through the air into the ravine below.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were back at the centre of the wooden bridge, Merula’s hand sitting on top of hers, their fingers laced together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s puffskein, so far unnamed, sat in its cage at their feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is the first birthday I’ve properly celebrated since I was ten.” Merula said calmly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked out at the trees and let her eyes wander up and across the highland peaks. Jasmine turned to her and squeezed her hand gently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s true. I mean, my aunt did buy me a treat once, when I turned eleven. I’d just got my Hogwarts letter and I was so excited. We took the floo network to Diagon Alley almost right away so that I could pick out my school supplies. I was almost the only child there, but it was still the happiest day I’d had since… Well, since my parents' trial about a year before. That was the last day I saw them, my mummy and daddy. They looked so different that day, chained up in these separate cages, like animals. Mr Malfoy took me, my aunt already didn’t want anything more to do with them. I remember, afterwards, he said something to me. ‘Never forget this day, Miss Snyde. Never forget what they’ve done here,’ he said. I thought it was a warning at the time. Looking back I’ve never been sure.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s eyes were far away, and so Jasmine let her eyes drift out to the scenery as well. The rain had died down sometime over the course of their meal down at Hagrid’s Hut, and the sky was starting to clear now. Tiny cracks of blue perforated the grey.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you know, when I turned ten my parents bought me a broomstick. Have I told you that? A Nimbus seventeen-hundred. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever owned,” she shook her head. “My aunt, that day in Diagon Alley, she bought me a chocolate frog. One chocolate frog, that’s it. She didn’t even help me pay for my textbooks or anything.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula huffed. Jasmine glanced across at her. Her features had hardened, her jaw tightened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t even remember who was on the bloody card. I think she threw it out with the box. I’m so fucking glad to be rid of that woman.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, for everything today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula was sitting, legs crossed, on one of the two straight-backed chairs that flanked the small table by the wood burner in their room. The fire crackled happily, casting her in a warm, yellow glow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine, flicking through one of the trashier novellas that had come with the room, looked over at her and smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you had fun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula nibbled at the corner of some of her birthday fudge, her free hand cradling the puffskein resting in her lap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was beautiful, really. I didn’t… I didn’t think I’d have a birthday party like that ever again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine pressed her lips together and closed the book. She crossed the room and took the seat opposite her partner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to throw you so many parties, Mer,” she said. Her voice was low and her words honeyed, but they failed to land in the way she had hoped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s eyes drifted through another world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t,” Jasmine said, doubling down on the sentimentality.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merulla met her confidence with a wry smile and a glint in her eye. There was the landing she was looking for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They gazed into each other’s eyes for a long while after that, neither of them game to be the first one to break. Jasmine finally flinched when a piece of wood in the fire beside her popped loudly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula practically cackled, then she leaned back on her chair and tossed her puffskein straight up in the air, watching as it tumbled back down into her waiting hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for this little fluff ball too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s adorable, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you so.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula drew her bottom lip up between her teeth. The mood shifted almost instantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was the first night we slept up here. Do you remember?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine’s pulse quickened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something was building in the air between them, something almost palpable. Jasmine edged closer on her chair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The way I had you that night… I want that again, now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine swallowed hard and she felt a tingling between her thighs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jasmine?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” She quaked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This time, I don’t want to stop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s eyes looked over her, hungry. Jasmine almost fell out of her chair. It had been a long time now since they had gone all the way together, but even that felt somehow less than what Merula was suggesting tonight. Merula looked like she might just break her in two before the night was through.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It might not be so bad though, Jasmine pondered the thought. Surrendering herself, completely… maybe a small part of her even wanted it. And besides, it was Merula’s birthday today. Tonight, she could have her any way she liked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine stood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where do you want me then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s face lit up. Her eyes glowed in the flickering light of the fire. She looked down at the puffskein in her hands and then tossed it across the room. It landed softly over by the window and bounced around happily for a moment before settling in some cushions on the floor and humming contentedly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just here will do fine, to start with,” she said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine walked around the small table to stand in front of her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“On your knees.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine willfully obliged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Jasmine got down, Merula stood. She unclipped her suspenders and placed them on the table beside her. Then she unbuttoned her trousers and let them fall to the floor. Jasmine pushed them aside and reached up to roll down Merula’s tights, taking her underwear with them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula stood over her, her lower half exposed. Jasmine felt her lover's fingers knot in her hair and suddenly her face was pressed against Merula’s dark bush. Her scent was sweet and heady and Jasmine’s mouth was quickly watering for her. She couldn’t act on her impulses from her current position, but soon Merula had dragged her back toward the chair and was taking her seat again. Merula kept a tight grip on her the whole way, only relaxing once she had settled onto the edge of her seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want your mouth.” Jasmine felt herself quiver as Merula said it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She ran her hands up Merula’s legs, her fingers grazing old scars as she settled them on her girlfriend’s thighs. Then, leaning forward, she nuzzled at the soft mound above Merula’s core. Merula arched back, running her hands through Jasmine’s hair again, balling locks around her fingers before pushing Jasmine down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine’s mouth came to rest over Merula’s warmth. She lapped slowly at Merula’s tender flesh. Her body shook as the taste of her lover overwhelmed her and she struggled not to lose focus on what she was doing. She hummed into Merula’s clit as she suckled there. Merula met her pleasured moans with low rumbles of her own and relaxed into the physical affection. Jasmine took her time exploring the intersection of Merula’s soft folds, but soon felt Merula’s impatient hand pushing her down further. Obligingly she dragged her tongue across Merula’s opening, making the moment last as long as she could, drinking in every drop of the oozing wetness she found there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula let out a breathy sigh as she forced Jasmine further into her. Jasmine pushed back against Merula’s hand, her breathing erratic. No singular part of Merula’s whole would satisfy her, and she flicked her tongue up and down across every inch of her lover she could reach. She took a hand off of Merula’s thigh and slid it down to play with the sparse hair on her lower leg. Then she slipped it down a few inches further and gripped her ankle firmly, holding her leg in place as she sucked a line of fresh red bruises into her inner thigh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She moved her other hand up to Merula’s midriff, savouring the warmth of the soft skin trapped beneath her tight woolen top before letting her hand glide back down to rest in the tangled thicket of hair at the crest of her mound. She let her thumb drift further still, until she could place it firmly over Merula’s slick, swollen hood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine sucked a breath of air as Merula’s blunt fingers raked along her scalp. Merula’s chair wobbled as she adjusted herself to better enjoy Jasmine’s mouth and Jasmine was forced to relinquish her grip on her ankle. Once Merula was steady again, Jasmine let her free hand creep along the trail of lovebites she left across her lover’s thigh until it reached her crotch pulling with her fingers to expose more of Merula’s shimmering core to her wandering tongue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With her nose pressed against Merula’s clit, Jasmine let her thumb run circles over the loose skin which enveloped it. Just as Merula began to tremble, Jasmine plunged her tongue inside of her again, curling it up into the mouth of her arousal. Merula whimpered, taking a fistfull of Jasmine’s hair and pulling it hard enough to make it hurt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t stop,” she commanded through staggered breaths.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At this point, Jasmine wasn’t sure she could have if she’d tried. She was infatuated with the intoxicating tang of Merula’s flower. She tugged at her swollen lips and let her thumb fall into a hypnotic rhythm running circles around her pulsating lovebud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula let out a satisfied whine and Jasmine tore open her eyes to see her lover’s heart-shaped face contorted in desperate ecstasy. Jasmine studied her quaking features and placed her fingers flat against her hood. Giving her mouth a break, she let her hand work over her girlfriend’s sensitive nub.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine watched Merula take her bottom lip between her teeth as she picked up speed with her hand, sliding her fingers back and forth faster than her tongue could ever have moved. She knew from her own exploratory sessions over the past year that the intensity of this motion could be almost tortuous if sustained for too long. But she also knew that persisting through that pain had brought her to the peak of one of the greatest orgasms she’d ever managed to produce in herself. She figured the feeling would probably be fairly similar for her girlfriend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Judging by the way Merula’s eyes slammed shut and her mouth locked open, Jasmine felt like she wasn't far off with her assumptions. She watched as every tiny muscle in Merula’s face and neck began to clench. Her thighs trembled to either side of Jasmine’s busy hand. She had long since let her grip on Jasmine’s head slip away, her hands now clawing at the base of her chair, gripping the frame with white knuckles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hnn,” Merula squealed between shallow breaths. Jasmine feasted her eyes on the sight of the most beautiful girl she knew writhing on the edge of euphoria under her touch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her hand started to cramp, her forearm was on fire, but Jasmine kept as constant a pressure and pace as she could manage, knowing that one slip up now could be the difference between absolute bliss and terrible, vexed frustration.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked on with satisfaction as her lover eked closer to the former. Merula’s face was flushed and glistening with sweat from the combined heat of the adjacent fireplace and the burning passion within her. Jasmine felt her own pulse throbbing deep within her core at the sight of her girlfriend coming undone before her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s eyes flicked open and focused on Jasmine’s with a fiery intensity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jasmine… your mouth…. please…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine waited until the last possible moment to fulfill Merula’s request. Her eyes locked to Merua’s as she hovered, waiting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only once Merula’s body rose into the throes of rapture, when her entire body started to shake, when she broke eye contact and threw her head back toward the ceiling, did Jasmine relent her hand and bring the heat of her mouth down to encase Merula’s spasming centre.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s hands tore at Jasmine’s hair, pulling her fast against her pulsing cunt as she rocked against her mouth. Desperate sounds escaped her lips as her fingers danced down Jasmine’s neck, out across her shoulders and along her arms until finally finding purchase among Jasmine’s own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Panting, the two lovers stayed in position for what could have been an eternity. Hand in hand, Jasmine resting her head between Merula’s thighs, Merula’s heaving chest slumped forward above her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Merula finally sat back up, Jasmine met her gaze with a proud smile. Merula pulled back her lips in a tired grin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good girl,” she said warmly and Jasmine’s smile grew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What now?” Jasmine asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s grin came to life at Jasmine’s enthusiasm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need the bathroom. But when I get back, I want you undressed and up on the bed, understood?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine nodded and moved aside so that Merula could get down from her chair. Her legs cramped after being on her knees for so long, but she hobbled across the room to the side of the bed as best she could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula smiled wide and chewed her lip at the sight of Jasmine sitting pretty, ready for her, once she returned from the ensuite. She pulled off her top in one fluid motion and Jasmine’s heart skipped at the sight of her dark pink nipples, standing erect against her small white breasts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Jasmine sat patiently, trying to ignore the cool bead of wetness sliding down her thigh, Merula crossed the room to where her coat was hanging and retrieved her wand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you ready?” She asked as she joined Jasmine on the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine nodded, bracing herself, taking one last big breath before Merula uttered the incantation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Incarcerous</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once again, Merula’s wand erupted with an orange flash and Jasmine felt the tendrils of conjured rope working quickly to ensnare her. She fell back against the bed as the ropes bound her arms tight against her chest. The sheets beneath her were a soft heaven against every inch of skin the ropes weren’t squeezing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula set her wand on the bedside table and moved to Jasmine’s side. Jasmine watched her with a wary look in her eye. The last time she had been at her mercy like this, Merula had tickled her unrelentingly until she could barely breath. She hoped things would not go the same way this time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The mood certainly seemed to be much more sultry now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine closed her eyes and sunk back into the bed as she slowed her breathing, taking shallow breaths, straining against the ropes as little as she could manage. She soon felt Merula’s fingers land against her thigh and begin tracing arcs up and down along her quads.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jasmine…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?” Jasmine enquired, opening her eyes and taking in Merula’s hungry expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to be inside of you tonight.” All pretense slipped aside, this was not a veiled instruction. Merula made it clear in her tone that this request was one Jasmine could decide to turn down if she wasn’t interested. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a step neither of them had taken with each other. Actual penetrative sex. Jasmine’s mind flashed back to the first time she had visited the Prefect’s Bathroom. It had felt so good, pretending her own fingers had belonged to her crush that night. Thinking things through, Jasmine knew she wanted it now for real. She simpered softly and gave Merula a reassuring nod.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d like that too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s lips curved into a sly smile. She placed a hand on Jasmine’s leg again and let it glide up to her hip. Her hand brushed against the skin of Jasmine’s tummy and Jasmine suppressed a giggle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fingertips played at the sensitive skin just above Jasmine’s bush then tangled in among the soft tuft of hair. Then, as Jasmine squirmed and begged for it with everything that she could muster, Merula’s hand finally slipped down between her legs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You're so wet,” she cooed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine bit her lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“From making you come.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A smirk crept across Merula’s face as she slid a finger between the slick lips of Jasmine’s womanhood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I like it,” she said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine closed her eyes again as Merula teased at her opening. Her body was so ready, even the slightest pressure and Merula would be inside her in an instant. She wanted to feel every detail of that sensation. Her arms flexed involuntarily against the tight rope that bound her and she bucked her hips as Merula’s fingertips retreated from the edge of her hole.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hnn,” she whined, spreading her legs wide across the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do we say?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s voice was thick with authority. The game was back on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please,” Jasmine whispered. “Mer…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her cunt puckered as Merula’s fingers slid back down to hover on her entrance once again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine nodded, pushing her hips up slightly, gasping as Merula’s fingertip pressed hard against her, very nearly slipped inside of her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please what, Jasmine?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine cursed herself for not being more specific. Of course Merula was going to make her work for every second of this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Merula, please. I want you… your fingers… I…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her breath hitched as Merula’s middle finger plunged into her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was it then, and it was oh so different than anything she’d had before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she’d done this herself, the sensations were jumbled, confused by her own fingers getting involved in the process. With Merula inside of her, Jasmine could focus on what it truly felt like just being fucked, without the added compilation of also doing the fucking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>good, she quickly concluded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula’s finger explored the walls within her as her lover familiarised herself with her interior. Jasmine rocked her head back into her pillows as her arms strained helplessly at her sides. Tied up and at Merula’s mercy, Jasmine whimpered and groaned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She felt an exquisite awareness of Merula’s every move as she caressed the inside of her silky sheath. She shuddered as Merula’s finger swept over the ridges around her most sensitive of spots. The reaction piqued her lover’s interest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wandering lazily through her, Merula’s finger soon found its way back to the same place, massaging the tender area until Jasmine let out a long, low moan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula picked up her pace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You like that, don’t you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mmhhmm,” Jasmine’s voice wavered as she rocked herself down onto her lover’s hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula shifted until she was perched above her, she placed her free hand against Jasmine’s cheek. It felt cool, and Jasmine realised her face must be flushed. Not surprising. She flicked her eyes open.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula was leaning over her. There was a fire behind her violet eyes as she stared down at Jasmine’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Jasmine asked between ragged breaths.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need you to turn over,” Merula explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jasmine didn’t know where Merula was going with it, but she was ready for anything her girlfriend needed tonight and with a little help, she managed to roll over onto her stomach.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula repositioned herself and Jasmine felt her hands grasp her by the hips, lifting her up. Unfortunately, at this angle, her face was left pressed into the bed, buckling under the strain of holding up her torso. Merula sighed and reached for her wand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soon the effects of the spell were removed and Jasmine’s bindings slipped off. Free to move, she propped herself up with her arms and spread her legs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Better,” Merula said, replacing her wand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine felt a cool breeze against her wet lips and she shivered. Soon though, the warmth of Merula’s hand was spread through her again as Merula cupped her flower from behind. A finger drifted up along the line of her slit before pushing its way inside of her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The new angle was everything as Merula pushed down along the roof of Jasmine’s wetness, drawing a moan from her lips almost immediately. Merula’s other hand gripped her arse and kneaded at the soft flesh as she slowly introduced a second finger into Jasmine’s core.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine groaned and pushed back, letting Merula’s fingers in deeper, letting them fill her. The way they stretched her made her knees weak and as the hand on her arse crept around her hip and across to rub around her engorged clit she fell forward against the bed. She felt Merula’s bare skin against hers as her girlfriend fell down on top of her. The heat coming off of her lover’s body was incredible, and combined with her own, it wasn’t long before her back was slick with sweat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula slid up and down against Jasmine’s body as her fingers swirled within her and massaged at her clit with perfect synchronicity. Her head rested on Jasmine’s shoulder and a rush of hot air hit Jasmine’s ear as Merula spoke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now, it’s time for you to learn your place.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula bit down hard on Jasmine’s shoulder as her hips rocked against her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine cried out in pain, but Merula’s tongue was already smoothing over the tender bruise and sliding up her neck, behind her ear. Merula’s next words were barely a whisper but there was a fearsome intensity behind them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who’s the most powerful witch at Hogwarts?” She spat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine’s head spun. At any other moment, she would have burst out laughing, but here, bucking under the weight of Merula’s lithe little body, the smaller girl asserting complete control over her, the audacity of the question set waves coursing through her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are, Merula,” she choked as the walls of her cunt squeezed down around her lover’s fingers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And who’s the best curse-breaker?” Merula continued. Jasmine’s body shook.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who’s the better dueler?” She snapped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You ar- ahhh!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly Merula’s teeth were tugging at her ear as Jasmine whimpered and squirmed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what are you, McKellar?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine mewled as her body began to clench up and tremor. Merula’s fingers curled inside of her, her other hand pressed hard against the outside of her vulva. Her tongue flicked over the bite marks on Jasmine’s ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What. Are. You?” She demanded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… I’m yours,” Jasmine whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you!?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m yours!” Jasmine screamed into the bed sheets beneath her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good girl,” Merula cooed into her ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mmmnn”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jasmine writhed and wailed beneath her lover as Merula’s fingers worked hard to finish her off. She let out one last protracted cry as she finally came undone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula slipped her fingers out of Jasmine’s gaping core, covered in her creamy come. Turning back, Jasmine caught her slide them into her mouth and suck them clean. Her body shivered once more and she groaned a long-drawn-out groan at the sight of it..</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only after Jasmine had finally stopped shaking did Merula flip her over and settle down on top of her. Her head still engulfed by the fog of her ecstasy, Jasmine was only half aware as Merula positioned herself. Only once she felt the sticky wetness of Merula’s centre align with her own did she fully realise what was about to happen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With her flesh already so sensitive, it didn’t take long for Jasmine to feel the heat of a second orgasm burning within her. And with Merula already so worked up after having just had Jasmine at her mercy, it wasn’t long before her girlfriend was right there beside her stoking the fire of their mutual bliss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they finally collapsed back down onto the bed, side by side, Jasmine’s face was streaked with sweat and tears. Merula drew herself close against Jasmine’s skin, wrapping an arm over her waist and nuzzling into the crook of her neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasmine felt a deep yearning in the pit of her stomach as she buried her face into Merula’s hair. As she lost herself in the sweet, acrid smells of sweat and smoke, cloves and come.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wanted to say something… it was on the tip of her tongue. But her eyes were growing heavy and she felt the tendrils of sleep about to take her. Her lips trembled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Merula…”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. All Hallows’ Even</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>More friendship fluff for everybody, you're welcome :)</p><p>Slight spoilers toward the end of the chapter for early fifth year cannon. I'm not going to rehash the plot of the game too much, but I will be mentioning a few things here and there from now on just to keep the main story flowing in the background.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sunday had been a blur of snuggles, snogging and sex, mixed in with a few timid trips to the dungeon to beg some of the nicer houselves there for leftovers of the meals they’d missed. Having finally taken Merula’s fingers inside of her, Jasmine had been eager for more, and Merula was just as game as she was to discover just how much Jasmine’s body would accommodate. </p><p> </p><p>Waking up well after sunrise on Monday morning, Jasmine’s head was still spinning, and as she staggered out of bed, walking straight proved quite a challenge. Sleepily descending the tower’s central staircase a half an hour later, Jasmine and her girlfriend stumbled out into a castle that was very much awake and already buzzing with excitement.</p><p> </p><p>By the time they strode into the Great Hall together, Merula was grinning from ear to ear and Jasmine knew it was an expression she could only take, well, most of the credit for. Today was the day before All Hallows’ Day after all, and that meant that tonight was one of the biggest nights on the Hogwarts school calendar. The Hallowe’en Feast. Some volunteers from the student-led decorating committee were already hard at work, levitating various themed decorations into place, and the smell of warm pumpkin juice already permeated the air.</p><p> </p><p>“Jasmine, who is this, and what exactly have you done with Merula?” Rowan asked in a mixture of jest and genuine disbelief as Jasmine and Merula took their places at the Slytherin table. </p><p> </p><p>Merula rolled her eyes as Jasmine snickered beside her.</p><p> </p><p>“What? It’s Hallowe’en, I’m not allowed to get excited?” Merula demanded, and it was Rowan’s turn to suppress his laughter.</p><p> </p><p>“No, by all means, go ahead. I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile so much. Well, maybe on Saturday… you’re kind of cute when you smile you know? I think I might finally understand why Jasmine likes you so much…”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up,” the girls chorused in unison, and when Jasmine looked over at her girlfriend she could see the heat she felt rising in her cheeks was parallelled in Merula’s own scarlett face.</p><p> </p><p>“You guys are too cute,” Liz interrupted. “How was the rest of your weekend though? I feel like I haven’t seen either of you since you left Hagrid’s.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula and Jasmine locked eyes and blushed harder as Liz pressed her lips together. There was a wicked glint in Liz’s eyes that told Jasmine she had a pretty good idea of how their weekend had gone, but to her credit, she didn’t press them further.</p><p> </p><p>Barnaby puzzled over the things left unsaid as the conversation moved on around him. Then, right in the middle of Rowan’s long winded explanation of how he’d managed to pull together all of the delicious spices that had made his samosas such a treat, he finally pieced it together.</p><p> </p><p>“Jasmine, Merula! You two…” he choked, continuing in hushed tones. “You two had <em> sex </em>?” </p><p> </p><p> Jasmine paused, a forkful of pork sausage halfway to her lips. Merula shook her head in exasperation. On the whole, she had sat through far more conversations with the burly boy opposite with them, and didn’t seem quite as caught off guard as the rest of them were by his outburst.</p><p> </p><p>“What… what exactly did you think we were doing all this time, Barnaby?” Merula stammered after a long silence. This time it was Barnaby’s turn to get flustered.</p><p> </p><p>“Er… well, um… I mean I guess you were holding hands a bit. I figured maybe you’d snogged once or twice.”</p><p> </p><p>“Barnaby… Merula and I have done a bit more than snog,” Jasmine smirked.</p><p> </p><p>Barnaby looked as though he was seeing the couple in a whole new light and he soon grew hot under the collar. He might be a few knuts short of a sickle, but he was still a fifteen year old boy, and it didn’t take much to set his mind to wander. Something had definitely just occurred to him which quickly had his whole face flushed and he refused to make eye-contact with either of them for the rest of the meal.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>After breakfast, Merula had to excuse herself and rush up to the front of the hall where the students in the Frog Choir were assembling for final run-throughs of their evening’s performance. So, as the rest of the students were ushered out of the hall, Jasmine followed Rowan, Liz and Barnaby out across the Viaduct Bridge. It was a fairly sunny morning for the time of year, and classes were suspended for the day in the leadup to the feast. Jasmine and her friends soon found themselves drifting into the Middle Courtyard, where there was an opportunity today to carve some of the many pumpkins which Hagrid and Professor Sprout had been diligently caring for over the last few months.</p><p> </p><p>Liz and Barnaby quickly collected their own pumpkins from a central pile beside a table stocked with various carving implements. Then they moved off to begin carving their decorations together. Jasmine raised an eyebrow to Rowan who shrugged a response.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s not a bad guy once you get to know him, Jas.”</p><p> </p><p>“Lizard definitely seems to agree. When did this happen?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm?” Rowan said as he hefted a pumpkin from the mound and passed it to Jasmine.</p><p> </p><p>The pumpkins had already been hollowed out, so they weren’t too heavy. The hardest part had been done for them earlier in the morning. The houselves in the kitchens would already be busy cooking up the insides into whatever treats awaited them at the feast tonight.</p><p> </p><p>“Barnaby and Lizard… it’s a thing right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh…” Rowan said as he picked out his own pumpkin and a couple of carving knives from the table. “Yeah… Well, it could be soon I suppose. Lizard’s been helping Barnaby with his homework ever since he left Ismelda, but you know she already fancied him, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine found some space on the lawn and sat down, placing her hollowed pumpkin in her lap. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I mean…” Jasmine had to think for a moment. “We never really talked about that sort of thing, no.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm, well,” Rowan frowned. “You never really seemed that interested in romantic stuff, did you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Rowan…” Jasmine had an uneasy feeling that the conversation was starting to turn into something a bit more personal.</p><p> </p><p>Rowan furrowed his brow as he worried his knife into the flesh of the giant vegetable resting in his lap.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, I would have gone to the ball with you in a heartbeat if you’d ever bothered to ask me.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine knew from the way that Rowan's shoulders tensed that she’d hit close to the mark for where he had been taking the conversation, but to his credit, her friend stayed silent until he was calm enough not to argue with her.</p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t matter,” he answered her eventually. “You would have realised how you really felt eventually. It’s probably for the best that I never got my hopes up too high.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine puzzled over this for a while as Rowan returned to his carving.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay… so then why are you getting all mopey about it now?”</p><p> </p><p>Rowan rolled his eyes slowly and Jasmine felt like maybe she hadn’t approached the question as compassionately as she could have.</p><p> </p><p>“Rowan… what’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>Rowan sighed a long, drawn out sigh before finally meeting Jasmine’s hazel eyes with his own soft brown ones.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just… well you have Merua now, and if Lizard and Barnaby get together, well…”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t want to be the only one of us who doesn’t have a date?”</p><p> </p><p>“No… I told you, I don’t care about that stuff, I just…”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine let her knife fall to the grass beside her and shifted forward.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” She asked as gently as she could.</p><p> </p><p>“It just… feels like… like, maybe you won’t need me anymore. Maybe no one will.”</p><p> </p><p>“Rowan!” Jasmine reached forward until she could place a firm hand on her friend’s knee. She  gave him a reassuring squeeze and waited for him to meet her eyes again.</p><p> </p><p>“Ro… we’ve known each other for nearly five years now, so I feel like I can be fairly confident when I say this. I will <em> never </em>not need you.”</p><p> </p><p>Rowan blinked and focused on the pumpkin in his lap for more than a little while. When he fixed his eyes on her again there was a renewed spark nestled within them.</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” He asked her gently.</p><p> </p><p>“Absolutely. Like a bowtruckle needs a tree.”</p><p> </p><p>Rowan’s nose crinkled, pushing up his glasses as his mouth turned up into a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Rowan tree… funny.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine gave him a playful shove and chuckled at her own joke.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean it though. I’d be lost without you Ro…” Jasmine smiled warmly back at Rowan.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” he said softly as his shoulders relaxed.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Jasmine repeated.</p><p> </p><p>She gave Rowan one last pat on the knee before shifting back and picking up her carving knife again. </p><p> </p><p>They had nearly finished their first two Jack-o’-lanterns when a shadow fell across the grass between them.</p><p> </p><p>“Room for two more?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine and Rowan looked up to find Jae Kim standing over them, a pair of pumpkins nestled in his arms and Chiara behind him, a knife in each hand. Rowan shrugged and Jasmine nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Go on,” she scooched back to give the newcomers some room to sit. Thanking them, Chiara and Jae joined their small circle and soon started working on their pumpkins too.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s new with you two, then?” Rowan asked once they were settled.</p><p> </p><p>Jae grinned from ear to ear. </p><p> </p><p>“What?” Jasmine asked slowly.</p><p> </p><p>“Baruffio's Brain Elixir!” Jae announced excitedly. “I’ve found a supplier, he swears it’s the real deal, I just-”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Rowan cut him off.</p><p> </p><p>“But I-” Jae tried again.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you joking? That stuff will <em> literally </em>melt your brain.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah but, it’s not <em> for </em> me. It’s a business venture.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a bad idea.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine snuck a glance at Chiara who rolled her eyes and gestured her own disapproval behind Jae’s back.</p><p> </p><p>“Just hear me out…” Jae pleaded.</p><p> </p><p>“I can't…” Rowan rubbed his temple. “If you don’t drop this, we’ll have to report you to your Head of House. Tell him Jasmine.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine sighed, but Rowan was right, as Prefects, there was no way they could let this go ahead.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s right, Jae. Look, you’re obviously very excited about this, but it does sound like a bit of a dangerous idea.”</p><p> </p><p>Jae pouted and jammed his carving knife into the pumpkin in his lap.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine,” he slumped. Chiara tapped Jasmine’s leg and mouthed the words ‘thank you’ before pulling her silver hair back into a high ponytail and picking up her own knife once again.</p><p> </p><p>“So… I heard you had a nice little party for Merula over the weekend,” Chiara hid a small smirk.</p><p> </p><p>“We did…” Jasmine said warily.</p><p> </p><p>“Did she like it?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine’s heart fluttered at the memory of Merula sitting at Hagrid’s table.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. I think she really did.”</p><p> </p><p>Chiara broke into a grin.</p><p> </p><p>“Would that have something to do with why Jae saw you two sheepishly begging for scraps from the kitchens two whole hours after breakfast had stopped being served?” She teased.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine screwed up her face as it flushed red. It was absolutely unfair that her classmates had this new power over her. She sneered through a defeated huff.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, alright, it might… so?”</p><p> </p><p>“So, I was just wondering how long you two are going to be allowed to keep that private room of yours if you carry on like this… and whetheryoumighteverconsiderlendingitout.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine cocked an eyebrow, and this time it was Chiara’s turn to flush a shade of pink.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Jasmine inquired with a sly smile.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Chiara blushed harder.</p><p> </p><p>Rowan shook his head and Jasmine caught Jae making some kind of lewd gesture at him.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean it’s hardly fair is it? Where are the rest of us supposed to go? The artefact room?” </p><p> </p><p>“Why not?” Jasmine shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“I am <em> not </em>losing my virginity in a cupboard,” Chiara growled under her breath.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright… alright,” Jasmine raised her hands defensively. “I mean… What about the Shrieking Shack? That’s where you… right?”</p><p> </p><p>Chiara tensed for a moment, but her face softened. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s… not a terrible idea,” she said at last. “I mean, we’d want to do something about the fleas first. Jae?”</p><p> </p><p>Jae looked as though he couldn’t care less about where the deed was done, but his interest was piqued at the prospect of Chiara settling on a place.</p><p> </p><p>“Huh? Er, yeah sure,” he grinned.</p><p> </p><p>“Great,” Rowan interrupted. “Can we talk about something else now please?”</p><p> </p><p>Chiara and Jae looked sheepishly at each other.</p><p> </p><p>“Dancing skeletons,” Jasmine announced. </p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” Came the collected response of the rest of the circle.</p><p> </p><p>“Merula told me yesterday that Flitwick told her during choir practice that he’d overheard McGonagall speaking with Filch last week and that McGonagall seemed to be under the impression that Professor Dumbledore was planning on booking a troupe of dancing skeletons to perform at the Hallowe’en Feast tonight,” Jasmine said with a grin.</p><p> </p><p>“Wow,” Jae nodded, impressed.</p><p> </p><p>“You think it’s true?” Chiara asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I think it would be pretty cool if it was, don’t you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well,” Rowan rubbed his chin. “Are they enchanted to dance or are they actually undead?”</p><p> </p><p>“I… I am not sure. Does it matter?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ethically?” Rowan raised his eyebrows.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine considered this for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I still don’t know. Ask Dumbledore tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think I might have to.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine scoffed and shook her head, looking back down at her pumpkin.</p><p> </p><p>“Finished,” she declared loudly, holding the fully-formed Jack-o’-lantern over her head like it was the Quidditch Cup.</p><p> </p><p>Her friends cheered her on as she got to her feet and bowed dramatically.</p><p> </p><p>“Shall we do one more?” She asked Rowan, who had nearly finished his as well.</p><p> </p><p>“I think that might be for the best,” he answered slowly, turning his lantern to face the others. </p><p> </p><p>Pumpkin carving was decidedly not among one of Rowan’s many talents, and Jasmine strode back toward the central table as her friends burst out laughing behind her. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>That night, the Great Hall glowed in the flickering light of hundreds of Jack-o’-lanterns, ranging from the roughly quaffle-sized ones Jasmine and her friends had been carving, to carriage-sized monstrosities, big enough for three or four students to sit in comfortably, side-by-side. The carved pumpkins were littered all around the edges of the room, piled high in the corners and scattered across the four long tables.</p><p> </p><p>The tables were laden with even more pumpkins too, these ones carved into bowls and filled to the brim with sweets. They sat between black cauldrons filled with large lollipops, platters of toffee apples, carrot cakes and pumpkin pot pies. On top of all this, each place at every table was set with its own shining goblet filled with spiced pumpkin juice.</p><p> </p><p>Looking up as she entered the hall, Jasmine admired the orange streamers, skeletal bunting and all sorts of other Hallowe'en-related decorations that were hung from the walls beneath the dark, cloudy illusory sky. The usual sea of floating candles had been replaced tonight by thousands of live bats, who fluttered and flapped around the hall, swooping low over the tables and flitting from wall to wall.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine spotted one of her own carved creations among the decorations fairly quickly, sitting at the head of her house’s table with a small collection of others with a similar theme. All proudly displaying the Slytherin crest, realised in a vegetable medium to varying levels of success.</p><p> </p><p>Briefly pausing on her way to find her friends, Jasmine was quickly stopped by a couple of the first-year girls who still respected her who wanted to point out which lanterns were their own, and to ask her where the staff could have managed to find quite so many live bats… or whether she believed, as they did, that they were in fact a colony of vampires, resting in the castle under the protection of none other than Professor Snape.</p><p> </p><p>Laughing off the first-year’s accusations and assuring them that their Head of House was most likely not one of the living dead, Jasmine moved on until she found Merula in the crowd and slipped her arms around her from behind.</p><p> </p><p>Her girlfriend flinched before settling back against Jasmine’s body and arching up her neck so that she could plant a heady kiss there, much to the disgust of some of their more homophobic peers sitting at the table beside them. Merula answered their jeering with a quick vulgar gesture and dragged Jasmine further down the table to where their friends were about to take their seats.</p><p> </p><p>Merula’s toad was already sitting on its cushion, staking a claim to her owner’s place at the table. Merula sat down in front of her and gave her a soft pat on the head.</p><p> </p><p>“You ready?” Jasmine asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I think so. Just… don’t judge me okay? The solo is <em> really </em>tricky-”</p><p> </p><p>“You have a solo!?” Jasmine couldn’t help but cut her girlfriend off in her excitement. </p><p> </p><p>“I do,” Merula said matter-of-factly. “And it’s a bloody Scottish song so I <em> know </em> you’re going to make a big deal out of it but can you just not? It’s really hard and I’m bound to butcher it.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine placed a hand on Merula’s shoulder briefly, then moved it to take her girlfriend by the chin and turned her face toward her own.</p><p> </p><p>“Merula, you’ll be great. You always are.” </p><p> </p><p>Merula blushed and shook herself out of Jasmine’s clutches.</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes and turned to the front of the room, watching for the queue to move to the side of the stage.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>As it turned out, Professor Dumbledore had indeed booked a troupe of dancing skeletons. Unfortunately, Rowan’s questions to the Headmaster after their performance were met only with vague and sketchy answers. </p><p> </p><p>After the performing skeletons had finished their act, and some risers were levitated into place by their director, Merula and the rest of the Frog Choir filed up onto the stage.</p><p> </p><p>Under Professor Flitwick’s diligent direction, the choir first performed a choral arrangement of <em> The Grey Selkie of Sule Skerry </em> , a melancholy folk song from the isles to the north, followed by the more upbeat classic <em> Double Trouble </em>.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine’s heart melted as Merula’s delicate soprano floated above the other voices, echoing softly through the spacious hall. Once her girlfriend had returned to her seat after the performance, Jasmine could barely contain her pride, bombarding her with praise the instant she sat down.</p><p> </p><p>“Jasmine, ugh, no, it was awful, shut up!” Merula protested beneath the onslaught.</p><p> </p><p>“It really wasn’t,” Jasmine assured her, and Rowan lent across the table to agree.</p><p> </p><p>“That was brilliant, Merula!” he shouted enthusiastically. </p><p> </p><p>Merula just crossed her arms and threw her head back, refusing to acknowledge any further compliments until her peers eventually lost interest and turned their attention to the food in front of them.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine selected a particularly tasty looking pie and had just bitten into it when none other than Penny Haywood came running up along the edge of the Great Hall and stopped across the table from her.</p><p> </p><p>“Jasmine!” She shouted, but she wasn’t angry, she sounded more desperate than anything else.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, um, Penny…” Jasmine worked quickly to swallow her mouthful before continuing. “What is it?”</p><p> </p><p>Penny still hadn’t spoken to Jasmine since she’d confessed her misplaced affection for her down by the Quidditch pitch last month. So whatever had broken the silence between them had to be something big. And it was.</p><p> </p><p>“Beatrice is missing,” Penny announced frantically. “Have any of you seen her?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine felt the floor of her stomach drop out and across from her, her friends grew a few shades paler. Merula cocked her head curiously.</p><p> </p><p>“I… I’m sorry, I can’t say I have,” Jasmine answered first and the others shook their heads with worried expressions.</p><p> </p><p>Fear consumed the Hufflepuff’s features.</p><p> </p><p>“She wanted to spend some time with her friends after lunch, but she was supposed to come and meet me in the common room by five o’clock. We were going to get ready for the feast together… But she never came down, and none of her friends have seen her all night.”</p><p> </p><p>A tear spilled down Penny’s perfect face and nearly broke Jasmine’s heart. Of all of the friends she’d lost, Penny had been her closest. A small, selfish part of her lept at the opportunity to rekindle that friendship.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s search the castle then,” Jasmine stood quickly. “We won’t stop until we’ve found her.”</p><p> </p><p>Penny wrinkled her nose. </p><p> </p><p>“Professor Sprout is already rounding up some of the staff to search the castle. That’s not why I’m here.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine shuffled awkwardly in place, her plan to win back their friendship apparently shot down.</p><p> </p><p>“What <em> do </em>you want then?” She said with a little more venom than she’d intended.</p><p> </p><p>“I…” Jasmine could see that her words had caught her old friend off guard. “I’m afraid they aren’t going to find her here. I… I think she might have run off into the Forbidden Forest. I told her so many stories about going there with you last year. I know we’re not that close anymore, but can you please come and help me look for her there?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine shivered at the thought of heading back into the woods after dark. But before she could say anything, her girlfriend was rising to her feet beside her. </p><p> </p><p>“The forest is huge,” Merula said. “You’ll need more than just the two of you.”</p><p> </p><p>Penny turned toward her rival potioneer with eyes drawn wide in disbelief.</p><p> </p><p>“You’d come with us?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, obviously, we all are, right?” Merula said, looking at Rowan and Liz, who nodded in staunch agreement. “Do you have a problem with that, Haywood?”</p><p> </p><p>“No! No,of course not. I just… didn’t expect that <em> you </em> would want to help.”</p><p> </p><p>Her words seemed to sting a little, but Merula quickly threw up her walls again.</p><p> </p><p>“Well I can hardly let you wander off with my girlfriend unsupervised, can I?” She said with a spark of ridicule. Jasmine knew that tone though. Merula wanted to help, even if she wouldn’t admit her true motivations.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright,” Jasmine interrupted before Merula’s underhanded comment could derail the conversation. “Merula and I will search in the red cap’s hole, and the spider’s lair. If Beatrice has run in there to follow up on one of your stories about us, that’s where she’ll probably be heading.”</p><p> </p><p>“Penny, you should go with Rowan and Liz to the grove where we met Torvus. Find him. He’s spent most of the past year stopping sleepwalking students from heading into the forest. If Beatrice really is in there, he almost certainly would have seen something.”</p><p> </p><p>Penny nodded slowly as the others rose out of their seats too.</p><p> </p><p>“I hate the idea of Beatrice being all alone in the forest… I hope you’re right, Jasmine.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry, Penny. We’ll find your sister,” Merula said as she grabbed Jasmine’s hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Look at all of us, working together…” Rowan beamed, and Liz followed up with something Jasmine couldn’t quite hear. She and Merula were already moving swiftly toward the large double doors.</p><p> </p><p>Sneaking out of the castle wasn’t difficult with anyone not at the feast now tied up in the search for Penny’s missing sister, and soon their little group was assembled in the quiet dark of the empty school grounds. </p><p> </p><p>They made their plans final and soon they were separated once more, Merula and Jasmine skirting the edge of the forest northward while the other three moved off toward the outskirts of the centaur’s territory.</p><p> </p><p>They moved with a silent determination along the gloomy pathways, neither daring to speak again until they ducked into the trees and were finally concealed from view.</p><p> </p><p>Merula’s haunting solo line played on repeat in Jasmine’s mind the whole way there.</p><p> </p><p>“Merula, that was dead brilliant though, really, your voice is beautiful,” she whispered at the first opportunity she was given.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we please just stop talking about it… <em> Lumos. </em>” Merula huffed, casting the wand-lighting charm as the lights of the castle grew dim behind the low fog that shrouded the forest.</p><p> </p><p>“Not until you admit that you’re a good singer, I’m not dropping it.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula groaned and pushed past her, deeper into the trees. </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine nearly lost her in the swirling grey mist. Swearing under her breath, she lit her own wand and followed after her.</p><p> </p><p>“Mer, wait, I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m not sure how Professor Flitwick would arrange it, but you can listen to a muggle choir singing <em>The Grey Selchie</em> here<br/>- https://youtu.be/hCIFlJzz5_4</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Slytherin vs Gryffindor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heads up, the fluff is over for now and the main scenes from this chapter are pretty dark. It gets a bit graphic again and there's a fairly detailed description of someone having a panic attack. Also there is another brief spoiler for early fifth year cannon in the opening scene, but again, I'm not dwelling too much on the actual story. Count yourselves forewarned…</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Beatrice Haywood had not been in the red cap’s hole, or the acromantula’s den. She wasn't lost in the forbidden forest at all and it hadn’t been until late the following evening that the first year girl was finally found. That was nearly two weeks ago now, and still no one had figured out a way to actually save her.</p><p> </p><p>Merula had confessed her motivations for joining the search to Jasmine during that first night together searching the woods. They had, in fact, been fairly well aligned with her own. Helping Penny find her lost sister would do a great deal to mend the broken bonds of friendship. It came as something of a surprise to Jasmine to find her girlfriend cared that much about her tattered relationship with her old friend. Especially when Merula’s own interactions with Penny had always seemed so steeped in jealousy; both Merula’s of Penny, and Penny’s of her.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine was slowly realising though that Merula’s change of heart after her birthday extended further than just allowing a deeper bond to blossom between the two of them. Among all of Penny’s enlisted help, none had searched with anywhere near as fierce determination as Jasmine’s girlfriend. </p><p> </p><p>She had also been one of the most active participants so far in the efforts to find a way to free her from the portrait she’d been trapped in. But with no solution in sight, a solemn mood had descended over the castle and hung heavy over the student body and the faculty alike.</p><p> </p><p>In the face of the stalling progress, Penny found Merula’s ongoing dedication especially admirable. She was no longer sworn off speaking to either her nor Jasmine, and during History of Magic two days ago, she had actually even conceded that Jasmine and Merula made a good couple. Things were officially on the mend.</p><p> </p><p>Given the way things had all played out, it was not too surprising when Penny joined Jasmine and Merula at the Slytherin table on the morning of the twelfth of November to wish Jasmine good luck. She was nowhere near her usual bubbly self of course, she had not even put on any face paint for the occasion, but it was a match day, and she was obviously trying very hard to enjoy it.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine’s teammates had been ecstatic the day she was allowed to return to her practice, and Jasmine had relished every minute she had spent in the air since. She was nowhere near as prepared as she would have liked to be by this point in the season, but the fact that she was being permitted to play at all had her positively over the moon.</p><p> </p><p>“Morning, Penny!” Jasmine looked up from her breakfast with a grin.</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning, Jasmine,” Penny replied with a forced smile that sent a pang of guilt shooting through Jasmine’s heart.</p><p> </p><p>Thankfully, Skye quickly jumped in and broke Penny and Jasmine’s sorrowful stare-off.</p><p> </p><p>“Mornin’, Pen, how are ye daein’?” she said.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, um, hey Skye. Yeah, I’m okay. It’s going to be hard not having Bea along today, but I’m sure I’ll feel a little better once you two wipe the floor with those Gryffindor boys.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, aye. Should be hee haw tae worry aboot there as lang as Higgs is half as good a seeker as ol’ Charlie Weasley.” Skye boasted, and Penny’s smile quickly turned more genuine.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, that’s good to hear,” Penny said with a warm glow in her pink-tinged cheeks. “I should get back to the others, but in case I don’t catch you again before the match, I just wanted to wish you both luck for today. So, um, yeah, good luck!”</p><p> </p><p>Skye grinned and Jasmine smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“Cheers, Pen,” they said in unison. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Match time. Two teams assembled under clear skies, their respective red and green quidditch robes flapping in the gentle breeze. Jasmine gripped her broomstick tightly as she watched Madam Hooch with razor focus. In the blink of an eye, the referee had released the two bludgers from out of the chest below the assembled teams and the charmed iron orbs raced skyward following the path of the golden snitch had taken just seconds before. The first game of the season was about to begin.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine did her best to track the bludgers’ paths up into the air high above her and assess the current threat that each of them posed. She looked down the arc of the Slytherin team to Sun-Hee Ran, who was busy doing the same. A few quick hand signals and the two had confirmed which of their pre-match plans would suit the situation best.</p><p> </p><p>Up in the commentary booth, Hogwarts’ new student commentator provided a quick refresher of the rules to the crowds below and Jasmine couldn’t help but feel a little nostalgic for the fiery Irish brogue that had drifted down from the booth in previous seasons. Since she had first arrived at Hogwarts, the role had been filled by her friend, Murphy McNulley. He’d been a fantastic commentator, really going above and beyond his role and even offering commentary on their house’s practice matches. For a second her mind wandered to where he might be now before the quaffle was thrown and the shrill sound of Madam Hooch’s whistle signalled the start of the match.  </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine immediately rolled back on her broom and sped up and away from the scrummage that erupted between Slytherin and Gryfindor’s chasers at centre pitch. Eyes to the sky, she right away noticed one of the two bludgers had already formed a lock on Terrance Higgs. </p><p> </p><p>Racing up along a path to intercept, Jasmine tightened her fingers around the handle of her beater’s bat. Slytherin’s prospects wouldn’t look too good if they lost their seeker in the first minute of play. Gripping onto her bat with all of her considerable strength, she gave the bludger a hard smack down toward the ground behind her as she came up alongside Higgs.</p><p> </p><p>Higgs nodded to her gratefully as he realized what she had just done and Jasmine paused to catch her breath, perched on her broomstick high above the action unfolding below. Ollie Travers had just taken possession of the quaffle, and was moving up to hand it off to Marcus Flint. Then, under Jasmine’s watchful eyes, the bludger she’d knocked away veered off towards one of Gryffindor’s beaters, who sent it hurtling across the pitch toward the pack of Slytherin chasers. </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine looked around for Sun-Hee, but her fellow beater was already preoccupied by the other bludger in centre pitch. Gritting her teeth, Jasmine dived down toward her teammates and gave chase to the bludger zeroing in on them. </p><p> </p><p>By the time she reached the pack, Skye was fast approaching the Gryffindor hoops and Flint was right behind her, quaffle in hand. Jasmine leveled out and sped toward them as fast as her broom could manage. </p><p> </p><p>Flint passed the quaffle forward to Skye as she closed on the hoops. The Gryffindor keeper adjusted his position to confront her. The bludger curved, zeroing in on its target. It was undoubtedly heading for Skye, and she didn’t suspect a thing. Jasmine couldn’t let it stop her. She was at Skye’s left flank now, coming in fast from behind, leaning down. If she could get this just right...</p><p> </p><p>She thumped the bludger as hard as she could. Her bat connected with a loud crack, sending the iron ball flying over Skye’s shoulder and toward Gryffindor’s fresh faced keeper.</p><p> </p><p>Oliver Wood’s eyes grew wide as he realised what was happening, too late. Unable to dodge in time, the bludger impacted his head with a horrible sound that shook Jasmine to her core. Suddenly, the young keeper went sickeningly limp, slipped off his broom and plummeted toward the ground. </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine felt sick to her stomach as Skye followed through and scored without thinking, just before a general time-out was called.</p><p> </p><p>The sounds of crunching bones echoed through Jasmine’s mind. The girl on the streets of Glasgow, her own ribs under Ismelda’s boots, and now this young boy at her own hands. She gripped her broom tightly as she pulled to a stop, hovering above where a small crowd was gathering around Wood’s body… corpse? Body. Jasmine circled lower and caught Hooch's golden eyes glowering up at her.</p><p> </p><p>But she hadn’t killed him, had she? No. Madam Pomfrey was signaling for a stretcher. Wood was breathing. Still breathing… Jasmine could hear her pulse, pounding behind her ears. Her skin was clammy and she could barely keep a hold of her broom, let alone her bat. She watched it slip from her fingers and plummet toward the ground in what seemed like slow-motion.</p><p> </p><p>It landed with a dull thump in the sand beside the gathered crowd just as a very loud, very angry voice snapped her out of her panicked state.</p><p> </p><p>“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing? You think you’re Gwenog Jones or something?” Charlie belted from about three feet to her right. She winced, but the red-headed seeker had saved her. Suddenly there was a new outlet for her adrenaline, and she channeled all of her anxieties into bitter rage.</p><p> </p><p>Rage that Charlie had ever presumed to be Rowan’s best friend. Rage at all the hateful and slanderous things he and his brother had ever said against Merula. But most of all, rage that she had evidently fallen so far out of favour with the Weasley clan that he could actually believe for a second that she’d just almost killed a second year <em> on purpose </em>.  </p><p> </p><p>“Awa' n boil yer heid!” she yelled back at him.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie's face was flushed with fury and she could see the veins start to pop out on his neck.</p><p> </p><p>“You could have killed him, McKellar!” he retorted, and Jasmine felt flecks of spittle against her cheek. Suddenly the Gryffindor shot sideways and crashed hard into her side, nearly knocking her off her broom. “I bet your girlfriend would love that though, right? Maybe you could even pay a visit to dear old mummy and daddy in Azkaban!” </p><p> </p><p>Charlie bumped her again, but this time she took advantage of the momentum and rolled away to her left. She drifted around to face him then and in that moment, by Merlin, she wished she’d still had her bat with her. </p><p> </p><p>“Mockit tadger, I hope yer next shite’s a knarl!” She curled up her nose and sneered.</p><p> </p><p>“Jasmine McKellar!” The sound of Madam Hooch’s whistle pierced the air. “There is no room for language like that on my pitch, now get down here.”</p><p> </p><p>“But… Weasley-”</p><p> </p><p>“Now, McKellar!”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine clenched her jaw as she spiraled down to the ground to meet with the referee. Meanwhile Charlie made himself scarce, speeding off to meet with the rest of his team.</p><p> </p><p>“Madam Hooch, I-”</p><p> </p><p>“Five points from Slytherin for your foul tongue. Now would you care to explain why I’ve just had to send that young boy off to the Hospital Wing two minutes into the first match he’s ever played?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine stared back into Hooch’s eyes indignantly.</p><p> </p><p>“Madam, that’s quidditch…”</p><p> </p><p>Hooch pursed her lips, her eyes narrowed.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean… It was a risky hit, I must have slipped or… Or the bludger could have curved after I’d sent it towards him. It wasn’t on purpose, I-”</p><p> </p><p>“Dinnae send her aff, Madam! We dinnae have a sub for her!” </p><p> </p><p>Skye nearly collided with Jasmine as she came running across the grass to her aide. </p><p> </p><p>“I swear, it was just a bad accident,” Jasmine finished and Madam Hooch shook her head, exhausted by all of the drama already.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sending her off, these things <em> do </em> happen, tragic as they are. But I’d keep my eye on her, Parkin. If this happens again, I can’t guarantee my ruling will be the same.”</p><p> </p><p>Skye nodded and pulled Jasmine away. She placed her fallen bat into her trembling hands and held her close as Jasmine shook with anger, frustration and fear all at once. After far too short a break for Jasmine’s liking, the Gryffindor captain had called up his reserve keeper, and the match was back on.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>By the time Jasmine emerged from the Slytherin locker room, the once clear sky was obscured by clouds, and a short but intense barrage of rain had turned the ground around the stadium to mud.</p><p> </p><p>Groaning under her breath, she started pushing her way through the crowd of fans still hanging around in the cold to congratulate her and her team on their victory. As she grew nearer the path back up to the castle however, the sea of green and silver gave way to a wall of red and gold. The boys from the Gryffindor team were waiting for her.</p><p> </p><p>Well, fuck. Jasmine dug her hands into her pockets, tucked her head down and pressed forward.</p><p> </p><p>“Where are you going? We’re not done, you and me,” Charlie yelled as she got closer to him.</p><p> </p><p>In her pocket she fingered the handle of her wand, but she kept her eyes on the ground in front of her and tried to ignore him.</p><p> </p><p>“Oi, Snake!” someone else shouted and she had to duck to the side as one Gryfindor’s chasers reached out to grab her by the arm.</p><p> </p><p>“Get tae fuck,” Jasmine shook him off of her and rounded on the boys. “Any more of you wankstains touch me ‘n’ I’ll-”</p><p>  </p><p>“You’ll what, Jasmine? Sick a bludger on us like you did to Wood?” Charlie struck a fresh nerve.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m a fucking beater!”</p><p> </p><p>“So you admit it, you hit him on purpose?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not his head!” Jasmine screamed and she was vaguely aware of a crowd forming around them.</p><p> </p><p>“Get fucked,” one of Gryffindor’s beaters shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“It was an accident! It’s quidditch!” </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine felt her blood start to boil. She could maybe concede that it was a low blow to target the boy so soon in his first proper match. But targeting a keeper was a valid tactic, one she’d used at least ten times before without any serious complaints raised against her. Deep down though, she knew this had nothing to do with the match. A moment later, the chaser who’d grabbed her proved it.</p><p> </p><p>“Watch out Charlie, or she’ll summon that slut, Snyde to come and curse your cock off.”</p><p> </p><p>The boys’ scornful snickering was cut short when Jasmine finally snapped and whipped out her wand, casting a jinx that brought the chaser crashing to his knees.</p><p> </p><p>“Here we go,” Charlie cried as if her reaction had been exactly what he was waiting for. “Always so quick to resort to violence, Jasmine. You’re just like her, you know.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine clutched her wand with a white-knuckled grip, but she shoved it back into her pocket with a huff. Charlie was playing her, and she couldn’t let him win.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re <em> not </em>bad people,” she growled through grit teeth.</p><p> </p><p>“A toadstool can’t change its spots. I can’t pretend to know why your girlfriend is suddenly so interested in playing the hero, Jasmine, but I know it can’t be out of the goodness of her heart.”</p><p> </p><p>This was getting to be too much. </p><p> </p><p>“Just… fuck off,” she sighed, searching the crowd for a familiar face, someone who could pull her away from this before she did something else she’d regret.</p><p> </p><p>There. Penny. She shoved past Charlie and moved to the edge of the circle, towards Penny’s shining blue eyes, her concerned frown pulling back into a look of shock as Jasmine felt two hands on her shoulders, pulling her back. In the slick mud, her feet slipped out from under her and suddenly she was on her back, all the wind knocked out of her, and Gryffindor’s beater loomed above her, a sinister smirk breaking out across his lips.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine scrunched up her face in preparation for what was to come. Beneath her closed eyelids the swirling colours coalesced and it was no longer a Gryffindor sneering down at her. It was Ismelda Murk.</p><p> </p><p>Instinctively, she clutched her arms up to her chest and curled into a ball. Above her, muffled laughter turned to shouting and what sounded like the Gryffindor captain calling off the attack.</p><p>Then the smell of lavender cut through the scent of wet dirt and a gentle hand was tracing soft circles over her back.</p><p> </p><p>“Penny?” Jasmine tried to ask, but her words caught in her throat. All of a sudden, she felt incredibly hollow, like if she didn’t act soon, she might just collapse in on herself and die here in the mud. With a start, she realised that somewhere along the way she’d completely forgotten how to breath. She desperately gasped and gulped at the air but nothing seemed to fill the void inside of her.</p><p> </p><p>The hand on her back felt distant and disconnected from her reality as she focused in on the blood spattered cobbles in her mind. She choked until she sobbed and a sweet trickle of air finally found its way down through the maze of her pain to fill her shriveled lungs. Yes, air. Jasmine shivered as she felt her body spasm back to like and she was breathing again. A dozen short, sharp breaths and then a half a dozen more.</p><p> </p><p>Penny’s voice above her, and it was <em> Penny’s </em>voice of course, called out for her to slow down. She shuddered and shook and did her best to comply. Slowing her breaths little by little until she finally felt safe enough to open her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Beyond the protective cage of her fingers she could make out that the crowd had thinned considerably. Of course that figured, the outcome of a fight could never be as fun to watch as the fighting itself. Especially an outcome as pathetic as this. Jasmine cursed herself under her breath as she realised her eyes were rimmed with tears.</p><p> </p><p>“Jasmine?” Penny asked after her mumbling had ceased.</p><p> </p><p>Then came a louder, more desperate cry from somewhere behind her.</p><p> </p><p>“Jasmine!”</p><p> </p><p>“Merula,” she whispered. Penny squeezed her shoulder, then Merula sank to her knees on the ground in front of her.</p><p> </p><p>“Merula…” she repeated.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m here. I’m sorry,” her girlfriend cooed.</p><p> </p><p>“Where…?” Jasmine struggled to ask. “Where were you?”</p><p> </p><p>Merula’s hands found hers and squeezed them. Penny stayed behind her, stroking up and down along her arm. Merula shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Back in the safety of their room in the Hogwarts Turris Magnus, Merula crouched at the side of the bath she had drawn for Jasmine to soak in.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine watched her violet eyes flit too and fro, landing anywhere they could save for Jasmine’s own. She’d been so attentive to her since finding her down in the mud by the quidditch stadium. But it was a distant care, as if her girlfriend was looking for some form of atonement rather than Jasmine’s company.</p><p> </p><p>“Merula…” Jasmine broke the silence gently.</p><p> </p><p>Merula frowned, resting her chin on the lip of the bathtub.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not your fault,” Jasmine whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“I should have been there,” came Merula’s grumbled reply.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not fair. We agreed that I’d meet you up at the gatehouse, away from the crowds. You didn’t know.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine had only remembered this fact as she’d stepped through said gatehouse on their way back to the castle, and she had instantly regretted ever questioning her girlfriend’s absence during her ordeal. Merula could hardly be blamed for sticking to the plan. She looked down along the bath to her feet and chewed her lip pensively.</p><p> </p><p>“I should have been there though, Jas. I could have helped you fight them off.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula looked miserable when Jasmine turned back to her. As if she truly believed she had failed her in some way by not sending the whole Gryffindor quidditch team to the Hospital Wing that afternoon to join their keeper.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s exactly what they wanted, Mer. The whole thing started because they were trying to provoke me, to prove that I couldn’t be trusted… that we couldn’t be trusted.”</p><p> </p><p>“But they attacked you, right? So what’s that prove, exactly?”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine furrowed her brow. </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I jinxed them first. I lost my temper just like they wanted me to, I should have just walked away.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merula let her wallow in that statement for just a little too long before issuing a bitter response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Jasmine, they’re Gryffindors. Trust me, nothing we could ever do or say would convince any of them that we’re not monsters. But that doesn’t have to make them right.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine felt a warmth growing deep within her chest as Merula’s voice echoed through her. She was right, of course, or at least, it was easy to believe her now, in the safety of their little ensuite.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” she smiled softly and rolled in the tub until she was facing her girlfriend. She caught Merula’s eyes wandering down her body for a moment before snapping back to finally meet her own.</p><p> </p><p>“If you aren’t willing to get hit by a bludger every now and then, don’t play quidditch,” Merula quipped and Jasmine’s warm smile erupted into a short chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>Merula forced a slight smile back at her.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we… talk about what happened to you?” she ventured hesitantly and Jasmine suddenly felt on edge again. “Sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>She must have noticed the way Jasmine’s body had flinched beneath the bathwater. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay. I don’t know, I want to. I think I need to be closer to you though. Can we get into bed?”</p><p> </p><p>Merula nodded gently and stood to help her out of the bath. Soon they were back out in the main room of their accommodation and slipping in under the covers of their enlarged bed.</p><p> </p><p>Seeking shelter from the pain of the day, Jasmine curled into Merula’s arms and placed her head against her chest. Merula was smaller than she was, and it was harder to get as comfortable wrapped around her this way, but as Merula’s hand came to rest at the back of her head, she closed her eyes and she felt safe enough.</p><p> </p><p>As if she could read Jasmine’s mind, Merula whispered down to her as her fingers played in her hair and scratched at her scalp.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re okay, you’re safe now.”</p><p> </p><p>Safe.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine wrapped her arm around Merula’s back and tucked herself tighter against the witch’s breast.</p><p> </p><p>She could feel it now.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Moving on</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry I couldn't get this one out to you as quickly as usual. My mental health has taken a nosedive recently and it’s been hard to commit time to writing. I hope the rest of you are all managing to stay stronger than I am through all of this.</p><p>I'm also sorry this one's a bit on the short side. But I feel like I'm happy enough with it, and I can't bear making you all wait any longer. I hope you'll like it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jasmine curled close to the body of her lover, arms wrapped tightly around her and her face pressed to her soft chest. Merula’s heartbeat pounded through her, mixing in with her own as she listened to her slow breaths in and out.</p><p> </p><p>She did her best to match her own breathing to Merula’s pace as her girlfriend’s fingers scratched gently at the nape of her neck. Slowly, faintly, Merula started to hum, and then to sing gently.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“ <em> Oh, hush thee, my baby, the night is behind us, and black are the waters that sparkled so green. </em>”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine sighed and let her hand drift down Merula’s side absentmindedly as she let the lullaby wash away her worries.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“<em> The moon, o'er the combers, looks downward to find us at rest in the hollows that rustle between </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula’s other hand traced a line up and down Jasmine’s spine as the melody dropped to the bottom of her natural range and Jasmine felt the next verse more than she heard it.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Where billow meets billow, then soft be thy pillow, oh weary wee flipperling, curl at thy ease </em>…”</p><p> </p><p>Merula trailed off, out of breath, but Jasmine was so very grateful for the little of the song she’d heard. She couldn’t remember ever hearing the Frog Choir perform it, and wondered if perhaps it was something Merula’s mother had sung to her as a child. The thought that her girlfriend would share something that personal with her now filled her chest with a warm, comforting glow.</p><p> </p><p>Then Merula whispered her name, and stirred her from her half-slumber.</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s getting late, Jas,” Merula spoke softly, her eyes on their bay window. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to come down to dinner, but I could go down and fetch something for you, if you’d like?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Jasmine murmured, “you’d do that?”</p><p> </p><p>“For you, of course. But I want to check with you first…” Merula pulled back and shifted down in the bed so that the two of them were face to face and Jasmine could see her violet eyes, heavy with concern.</p><p> </p><p>“If I leave you here right now, are you going to be safe? Because if you don’t feel like you are, I’ll stay. I’m not really hungry and if you really are then I can send an owl down and get one of your friends to bring something up to us instead.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” Jasmine whimpered and Merula nodded gently.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine pushed forward and wrapped herself around her girlfriend’s thin frame as her voice broke and she gasped. “Don’t go.”</p><p> </p><p>And she didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>Merula sat there stroking her girlfriend’s head softly and soon she was humming again, picking up the lullaby right where she’d left off. Eventually, Jasmine’s grip loosened and Merula made her way over to the table to compose a brief note to send off with her owl.</p><p> </p><p>When she returned to the bed, she sat cross legged and invited Jasmine’s head into her lap.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you ready to talk to me?” She whispered.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine nodded, although she wasn’t yet sure of what she would say. She decided it was probably better if she just started speaking though. Whatever knots were tangled in the mess of her thoughts would work their own way out if they really needed to be said.</p><p> </p><p>“It was… too much,” she started, tentatively. “The bludger, and then the fight… and all I could think about was that poor girl back home, and then Ismelda’s boots on my chest, and it all got mixed into one big, dark cloud and suddenly it was all around me and I was right back there in the courtyard, like I was paralised all over again but this time even my lungs wouldn’t move and it was like, I could see death coming right for me, but I was trapped like a deer caught in a dragon’s maw.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula sat, listening to her spill out her thoughts, fingers forging light paths up and down the side of Jasmine’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“I felt so sure I was going to die, Mer. Either by the boots of those Gryffindor boys, or like I would just run out of breath before I ever remembered how to breathe. Merlin, my head hurt so much, everything was spinning and it was all happening at once, all around me, I could see myself plunging deeper into these inky black clouds, but nothing I could do would stop it.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Jasmine,” Merula’s voice came weak, trembling.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just… I know what it feels like, to get like that. And I really wish you didn’t have to face it.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine stopped for a moment, taking in what Merula had said.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, for what it’s worth,” she said softly, “I’m glad I’m not facing it alone.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It was Penny who knocked on their door about an hour later, carrying a fully laden plate of food. Stuffed chicken breasts wrapped with bacon, roasted potatoes, steamed green beans, even a couple of slices of apple pie. Apparently Penny had whispered something to Merula while Jasmine was still curled up in the mud about only being an owl away if either of them had needed anything that night, and she had certainly delivered.</p><p> </p><p>Merula had stayed with Jasmine until the last moment possible, and jumped up as Penny arrived to quickly pull on her green dressing gown before answering the door. Jasmine was still in the bed when the Hufflepuff walked into the room and set the meal on the table. She was a little embarrassed as she sat up with only a sheet between her naked body and the girl, who she knew for a fact had found her attractive enough to risk coming out to, not all that long ago.</p><p> </p><p>To Penny’s credit, if any of those feelings were still there, she did a good job of keeping them hidden, at least at first. As her piercing blue eyes quickly scanned the room and landed on Jasmine, the only emotion to cross her soft face appeared to be something much more akin to pity. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Jasmine, you poor thing” she called over to the bed as Merula closed the door gently.</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine shifted from side to side awkwardly, her legs crossing and her hands keeping the blanket tucked tight against her chest. The last hour had been a rough one as Jasmine had let out all of the anxieties and pain that had festered inside her for the past month, and her face was crusty with the dried salt of her tears.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry! Oh my gosh, I just realised, hang on I should let you get dressed, I’m sorry.” There it was, she was definitely still a little bit flustered around her. But it was sweet that she was at least trying to get their friendship back on track. Jasmine smiled gratefully as Penny turned around to busy herself with studying the books on the shelf over by the study nook and Merula retrieved some plaid pyjama bottoms and her red and silver Ethan Parkin jersey for her to throw on as she emerged from the warm shelter of their bed.     </p><p> </p><p>Jasmine chuckled at how well Merula had come to know her. If she couldn’t be wrapped up in bed at a time like this, that jersey was definitely the next best thing. She called over to Penny and let her know it was safe to turn around as she pulled the top down over her flat chest, then she reached out to take Merula’s hands in thanks.</p><p> </p><p>Merula smiled back at her and then before she knew it Penny was at her side, asking her if it was alright to give her a quick hug before she left.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, um, yeah of course…” And then Penny’s arms were wrapped around her in a firm squeeze and her chin was digging down into her shoulder. Jasmine closed her eyes and sighed into what was actually quite a lengthy embrace. In all this time, she’d almost forgotten what great hugs the Hufflepuff had always given her.</p><p> </p><p>It took a curt cough from Merula before Penny finally pulled away, her cheeks tinged pink and her manner suddenly taking on an air of deference. </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, I just… I have really missed you Jasmine and it was so very awful to see you down on the ground like that this afternoon. I’m really glad to see you looking at least a bit better. I… I should probably go, I didn't mean to intrude on you both like this… I just wanted to help.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stay.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula raised an eyebrow, but did nothing further to interject.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry?” Penny stared back at her, clearly caught off guard by the request.</p><p> </p><p>“I think you should stay,” Jasmine clarified. “Whatever it is between the three of us, it’s not working out in any of our favours like this. I don’t think it ever will unless we all sit down and talk it through. So, stay… please?”</p><p> </p><p>Penny glanced nervously to Merula, who shrugged, and then back to Jasmine, who’s heart was racing in her chest. It was time to address the erumpet in the room.</p><p> </p><p>Taking a seat, and gesturing for the others to join her, Jasmine’’s stomach growled as the smell of the meal in front of her brushed her palate. Merula took the seat next to her and Penny pulled over the chair from the desk to take up a position across from them. </p><p> </p><p>“You should eat first,” Penny whispered. “I warmed it up a little when I got to the top of the stairs but it won’t like being reheated again so soon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Jasmine nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Jasmine, after everything the two of you have done for Beatrice and I…” Penny started to tear up as the conversation strayed toward her sister, imprisoned in one of the portraits down by the grand staircase. Jasmine caught her almost reaching out to touch Jasmine on the hand, a gesture they’d shared often enough in the years before things had grown more difficult between them. This time Penny simply flattened her palm against the table and rapped her fingertips against the hardwood. “It hurt so much to see the way Charlie and his friends treated you down there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Still… you didn’t have to do all this,” Jasmine gestured to the plate in front of her.</p><p> </p><p>Penny looked up at her with eyes full of sorrow. From up close, Jasmine could see the toll losing her sister was having on her. And yet she had chosen to be here tonight, rather than stand vigil in the portrait gallery as she usually would have through the free period after dinner was over.</p><p><br/>
“No,” Penny said softly. “I had to come. I had to make it up to the two of you somehow. Not just for the way the two of you have been helping me lately, but for the way I was so ready to just cut you out of my life until you were useful to me, Jasmine. Gosh, it sounds awful to put it that way, but it really was a horrible thing to do.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine sighed into her plate, she’d just about managed to spear a potato on the end of her fork before the conversation had demanded her attention and now she pushed it around along a meandering path between its starchy companions.</p><p> </p><p>“I should never have come to you that day after practice. It was wrong of me to hope that you could feel the same way towards me. To even consider trying to come between the two of you…” Her eyes flicked to Merula who had her fixed with a steely glare. “I’m sorry, both of you, I really am.”</p><p> </p><p>The three of them sat for a moment in silence and Penny withdrew her hand from the table and placed it in her lap. Eventually the silence became too thick to break and Jasmine settled in to eat her meal while Merula stared Penny down and the Hufflepuff fidgeted awkwardly.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t the most comfortable atmosphere for a meal, and Jasmine was starting to regret asking Penny to stay at all before Merula finally spoke.</p><p> </p><p>“Apology accepted.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Penny startled.</p><p> </p><p>“Apology accepted. I forgive you. That is what you say right? When someone tells you they’re sorry. You forgive them.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s… Well, you have to mean it.”</p><p> </p><p>Jasmine rested her cutlery on the edge of her plate gently and sat back to try and make sense of what was unfolding in front of her.</p><p> </p><p>Merula scoffed. “I know that. I mean it, Haywood.”</p><p> </p><p>Penny studied Merula’s face carefully, looking for any signs that this was some form of trap, but it wasn’t.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not easy… realising you’re attracted to girls. It can get messy. I’m not going to hold it over your head forever, just promise me one thing.”</p><p> </p><p>Penny’s eyes flicked to Jasmine, nervously. “What?”</p><p> </p><p>“Get over her,” Merula said, nodding back to Jasmine as well. “Move on from your little crush.”</p><p> </p><p>Penny’s mouth dropped slightly, but she soon righted herself. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay… I will, I promise, I’ll try. I’ve been trying. It’s getting easier-” she caught herself, “Blimey, this thing with Bea, it’s awful, and it’s all-consuming. I hate to say it, but it is easier; focussed on her, there’s not a whole lot of space left to even think about fancying anyone.”</p><p> </p><p>This time it was Merula that leant forward and rested her hand on Penny’s side of the table.</p><p> </p><p>“We will find a way to rescue your sister, Haywood. I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>Penny cautiously took Merula’s hand in hers, and reached out with her other to find Jasmine.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, both of you, so much.”</p><p> </p><p>Merula snatched her hand back a moment later and Penny withdrew as well.</p><p>“I really should leave you two to your meal. But I’m glad that we’re talking again, and I promise I’m not going to ruin it again. I hope you feel better soon Jasmine. Thank you Merula,” she was almost at the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Good night Penny,” Jasmine smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“Good night.” </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Jasmine clung tightly to Merula’s arm as the carriage went over a bump and sent everybody inside rocking to and fro. A brief shudder passed through her, her body still on edge after the events of last Saturday. Things were getting better, but it had been a long week.</p><p> </p><p>The news that the young Gryffindor keeper she’d knocked out had finally woken up this morning had helped to quell at least some of Jasmine’s anxieties. But it was her confrontation with the rest of his teammates after the match that had her still shaking in her girlfriend’s arms most nights.</p><p> </p><p>To her credit, Merula had been very good to her, whenever she wasn’t busy interviewing the castle’s ghosts and trying to find a way to rescue Penny’s sister. The sudden shift in her girlfriend’s personality still caught Jasmine off-guard, but she could tell Merula was really trying. Late at night, she noticed the tiny cracks that no one else could see.</p><p> </p><p>They needed to head to Zonkos Joke Shop today to follow up on one of Merula’s leads, and Merula insisted on going there first. With that out of the way, they would be free to enjoy the rest of the day in whatever way they liked. </p><p> </p><p>This was the first time since they’d got together that the carriages had come to take the older students along the road to Hogsmeade Village, and Jasmine was eager to explore the snowy streets for the first time with an actual date.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“What an absolute waste of time, I hate that place” Merula sighed as she stepped outside. “Who even sets up a joke shop so close to a school, the Governors should have petitioned to have it closed down years ago.</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh, I know. Tulip and Tonks used to drag me in there all the time. It’s so loud and obnoxious, you know, I’ve never understood what’s quite so funny about causing a classroom to reek of shite.”</p><p> </p><p>“Spoken like a true Prefect,” Merula chided her, but Jasmine’s face had gone as cold as the snow that had started to fall over the picturesque little village.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t even miss them anymore,” she said coldly. The realisation had slowly dawned on her over the course of their conversation with Mr. Bilmes, the shopkeeper responsible for providing the two pranksters with the majority of their material.</p><p> </p><p>Merula looked at her with a half-cocked smile.</p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s true. If they want to sit and stew in their own fucked up mess of prejudice and jealousy that’s their problem. The fucking Weasleys too. I don’t need any of them, I’m done,” Jasmine huffed.</p><p> </p><p>Merula stood beside her, silent, letting her stew in her anger for a moment before offering her a hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, Jas, you deserve a day off.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>For anyone interested, the song Merula sings to Jasmine in the first scene is Seal Lullaby by Rudyard Kipling. There’s an arrangement by Eric Whitacre I think fits the moment well which you can listen to here - https://youtu.be/kxTghSZupv8</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>